I used to do a holiday letter every year to go out with my Christmas cards...I decided not to do one this year and just do a year end wrap up and post it to my blog...a little of my adventures across the globe and recollections of good times is a nice way to wrap up the year!
Its been a year, and what a year it has been! 'Tis the season...and...and I've gone Silver and Gold (with the airlines and hotel)! I have been all over the map and have been able to catch up with a bunch of friends! I have traveled and racked up frequent flyer miles and hotel points and left places I didn't want to leave.
Was in the city of Brotherly Love for a day's check in. Spent some time in Nawlins and had to walk up and down Bourbon Street to get to the theatre from the hotel and back again. Was tough, but I persevered. Got to see my friend Troy and experience Nawlins pre-BP disaster. Flew from there to Kansas City, Mo. for a few days, and well...it was. After that I went winging off to London to check in on things across the pond. That first Wednesday I was there a volcano in Iceland shut down airspace in Britain and all over Europe (although, please don't check this fact with accounting at my company, as I had to explain my extra week) and I was "stranded" for an extra week. It was rough - stuck in a city I love where the boys thought I was exotic thanks to my "accent." I met a few new friends whilst I was there. "No one is so rich as to throw away a friend." (Quick - name the movie and get extra credit!) I almost didn't get on the plane to come back...made me want to be in London even more!
I felt very cultured after my stay in London. Was able to visit the Tate Modern and stroll the city in some of that extra time, and of course I did some shopping. I got to see Rufus Wainwright's opera, Prima Donna, and managed to check out We Will Rock You for my sister. Thanks to the Ash Cloud, I was able to catch the opening of Holding the Man in the West End. It opened the second Friday I was there, which bummed me out initially as I thought I would miss the limited run, or would have had to made a special trip just to see it. It was truly as brilliant as the book - which I highly suggest if you haven't read.
Went to Vermont in July with the boys and spent a few days just relaxing with friends with no agenda or game plan...it's always nice to be up there, well, other than the pesky no cellular signal thing.
I was able to stay at home for a bit after that, and wish I was back in London, who wouldn't? Hit the road again this fall for LA for a week and got to catch up with JD and Eric and have a little time to myself while out there for work. Also spent 7 weeks in Durham, NC where the 2nd National Tour of Billy launched. Got to catch up with Chris and Kyle while I was down there...so many travels and so many friends! Its been a fantastic year and I look forward to 2011 even more. So many travels, and so much catching up...it's nice to have a few days now to relax and just let the year end with lots of great memories with friends and looking forward to more in the new year.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Closet
I was asked recently how out of the closet I was. It got me thinking. I have been out of the closet for 15 years. I have had boyfriends and lived with a partner. I remember being afraid and feeling the weight of the closet and the feeling of freedom when I finally did come out. Why does how far in or out of the closet matter in the LGBT community? My conclusion - because the more visible we become (which happens when people are true to themselves and come out of the closet) the freer we are as a person and, in turn a society.
I am so far out of the closet that I don't have enough bread crumbs left to leave a trail back. I am at a point in my life that I just don't care who knows and who doesn't. Being gay is a part of my life, not the only part of my life. Being an uncle, enjoying music and theatre - those are all just parts of my life - and like gay, none of them represent all of me, they are all the parts of me that make me whole. If my desire for equal rights frightens you because I am out of the closet and flaunting my "lifestyle" (I really despise that term) I challenge you to figure out how you flaunt your lifestyle to me every day. If my being out of the closet means you don't want to know me, I challenge you to look in your own. There's clearly something there that's troubling you. It doesn't mean it's necessarily your sexuality either. We all hide pieces of ourselves, but the more we come out of the closet and share them, the more we are free.
The closet represents a time in my life when I was afraid of the future, afraid of myself, afraid of what it would mean if I were gay. Life is what I live now, with the knowledge and my head held high.
I am so far out of the closet that I don't have enough bread crumbs left to leave a trail back. I am at a point in my life that I just don't care who knows and who doesn't. Being gay is a part of my life, not the only part of my life. Being an uncle, enjoying music and theatre - those are all just parts of my life - and like gay, none of them represent all of me, they are all the parts of me that make me whole. If my desire for equal rights frightens you because I am out of the closet and flaunting my "lifestyle" (I really despise that term) I challenge you to figure out how you flaunt your lifestyle to me every day. If my being out of the closet means you don't want to know me, I challenge you to look in your own. There's clearly something there that's troubling you. It doesn't mean it's necessarily your sexuality either. We all hide pieces of ourselves, but the more we come out of the closet and share them, the more we are free.
The closet represents a time in my life when I was afraid of the future, afraid of myself, afraid of what it would mean if I were gay. Life is what I live now, with the knowledge and my head held high.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Progress...
so I put on 9 pounds while I was down south for work, not bad considering that I didn't have a real gym the entire time I was there and was working out with bands and running. Doubly not bad when you consider that I was so busy the last 10 days or so that I didn't even get to run. I've already taken that 9 off and I have 15 more to go until I am down to my goal of 150lbs by years end. I might actually do it. I don't know where I will stand when it comes to bodyfat, but I'm getting that number down as well...the sooner, the better. That's my progress report...for now.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Trouble with Normal...
The trouble with normal is all in the semantics. By saying something isn't normal, you are automatically implying it is abnormal, or defective or wrong. That is not always the case.
Normal, where I grew up, was a family of a mother and father and kids, all white. Were you abnormal or defective if that wasn't the case? You would think so by some people's reactions. My family was normal to me, even though I know some people didn't think so, and they let my sister know it. Kids can be cruel. I had friends who's parents were divorced. I had friends who lived with a mom and a step dad, were they not normal? Of course they were, they were my friends. That was their normal. No less or more normal than anyone else.
You and your family have a normal Thanksgiving celebration dinner at home around the table. A friend and his single mother celebrate by going out to eat and to the movies, they do this every year - it is normal to them, but not to you. Because it is not your normal, does it mean it is wrong or abnormal? Are there laws on the books that say Thanksgiving has to be celebrated with family around the dinner table? No. Both are normal celebrations to those celebrating.
Let's look at another tangible example involving technology. Growing up you had a land line in the house, and, in fact, your parents still have the same phone number. You had a land line when you first got your own place, and you never used it, so you gave it up in favor of your cell phone - which you use all the time. It isn't the normal you grew up with, but it is normal now. In fact, having a land line theses days is less and less common, does that mean it is not normal if you have one? No.
I live in a big city, I do not own a car, I ride the subway everyday along with millions of my closest friends. That is my normal commute to work. It doesn't make me abnormal if I hop a cab or call car service though instead of the train, circumstances just dictated otherwise. I have friends in the suburbs that have owned more automobiles in the last decade than I can count on two hands, that's their normal. Is it wrong? No. Excessive maybe, but that's the subject for a different blog post.
I grew up and came out of the closet as a gay man, that is my normal. I did not wake up one day and say, I think I want to fall in love with another man. I will not wake up tomorrow and say I think I want to fall in love with a woman. I am in no way abnormal because I am gay, just like my brother and sister are in no way abnormal because they are heterosexual. I know that, like me, they did not wake up one morning and say I want to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex. It is just the way they are made. I was bullied in high school and college for the perception that I was gay - maybe they saw something I didn't at that point in time, maybe they picked up on a weakness, for whatever reason, it happened. I made it through, it got better. I am just as normal as anyone else, even the bullies that picked on me. Don't let anyone tell you that you are not normal for the life you lead or the person you love.
Normal adapts and changes over time. Normal in the deep south used to be owning slaves. Was that "right and moral?" No, we learned that lesson, but it didn't mean it wasn't normal. People's views of normal changed. Women weren't allowed to vote, Blacks and Whites had to be separated, you didn't deserve equal pay for equal work - all of these ideas were once thought to be normal. Views changed, society changed, Normal changed, that's the beauty of Normal.
Normal adapts and changes to its surroundings. Normal doesn't demonize to make its point. You aren't worth more or less because you fit one definition of normal or another. Normal adapts. Normal is in the eyes of the beholder. Once we all as a society and peoples understand that there might be more acceptance in the world.
Normal, where I grew up, was a family of a mother and father and kids, all white. Were you abnormal or defective if that wasn't the case? You would think so by some people's reactions. My family was normal to me, even though I know some people didn't think so, and they let my sister know it. Kids can be cruel. I had friends who's parents were divorced. I had friends who lived with a mom and a step dad, were they not normal? Of course they were, they were my friends. That was their normal. No less or more normal than anyone else.
You and your family have a normal Thanksgiving celebration dinner at home around the table. A friend and his single mother celebrate by going out to eat and to the movies, they do this every year - it is normal to them, but not to you. Because it is not your normal, does it mean it is wrong or abnormal? Are there laws on the books that say Thanksgiving has to be celebrated with family around the dinner table? No. Both are normal celebrations to those celebrating.
Let's look at another tangible example involving technology. Growing up you had a land line in the house, and, in fact, your parents still have the same phone number. You had a land line when you first got your own place, and you never used it, so you gave it up in favor of your cell phone - which you use all the time. It isn't the normal you grew up with, but it is normal now. In fact, having a land line theses days is less and less common, does that mean it is not normal if you have one? No.
I live in a big city, I do not own a car, I ride the subway everyday along with millions of my closest friends. That is my normal commute to work. It doesn't make me abnormal if I hop a cab or call car service though instead of the train, circumstances just dictated otherwise. I have friends in the suburbs that have owned more automobiles in the last decade than I can count on two hands, that's their normal. Is it wrong? No. Excessive maybe, but that's the subject for a different blog post.
I grew up and came out of the closet as a gay man, that is my normal. I did not wake up one day and say, I think I want to fall in love with another man. I will not wake up tomorrow and say I think I want to fall in love with a woman. I am in no way abnormal because I am gay, just like my brother and sister are in no way abnormal because they are heterosexual. I know that, like me, they did not wake up one morning and say I want to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex. It is just the way they are made. I was bullied in high school and college for the perception that I was gay - maybe they saw something I didn't at that point in time, maybe they picked up on a weakness, for whatever reason, it happened. I made it through, it got better. I am just as normal as anyone else, even the bullies that picked on me. Don't let anyone tell you that you are not normal for the life you lead or the person you love.
Normal adapts and changes over time. Normal in the deep south used to be owning slaves. Was that "right and moral?" No, we learned that lesson, but it didn't mean it wasn't normal. People's views of normal changed. Women weren't allowed to vote, Blacks and Whites had to be separated, you didn't deserve equal pay for equal work - all of these ideas were once thought to be normal. Views changed, society changed, Normal changed, that's the beauty of Normal.
Normal adapts and changes to its surroundings. Normal doesn't demonize to make its point. You aren't worth more or less because you fit one definition of normal or another. Normal adapts. Normal is in the eyes of the beholder. Once we all as a society and peoples understand that there might be more acceptance in the world.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Kicking Ass...and taking names...
I'm sick of it - I'm over it. There is so much prejudice in the world and I can't stand it anymore! For years I have dealt with idiocy first hand, and I am no longer standing idly by and observing.
I'm throwing this out there to all of my family and friends - I WILL NOT TOLERATE iT anymore. I will warn once by leaving the situation, after that - don't expect me to speak to you anymore. We are beyond the old addage of if you don't have anything nice to say... I don't want to hear the jokes or innuendos - I don't want to hear the generalizations. I don't want to be a participant in it anymore.
I've read about too many suicides thanks to bullying, I don't want to read another. I am enabling if I just sit idly by and let you participate in the hate. Racism, Sexism, Homophobia...don't care any more - there's no place for them in my life.
I know the world isn't perfect, but my family and friends are an educated folk - and we should be way beyond this. I don't care what your political leanings are, who you voted for or are planning to vote for - hatred has to go. If you think the joke is funny, think about how you'd feel being on the receiving end - if you were the one being made fun of. If you still think its funny - I'm here to tell you its not!
My framily is made up of many races. There are folks of different sexual orientations. There are men and women, there are Republicans and Democrats, Liberals and Conservatives, and yes - there are a few prejudiced folks in there too - this is my part to make the world a better place.
I love you all dearly and hope that it doesn't ever come to me having to walk out or even have these conversations, I'm hoping we are all bigger people - but I'm so fed up with the state of the world right now, this is the one small thing I feel I can do to contribute.
I'm throwing this out there to all of my family and friends - I WILL NOT TOLERATE iT anymore. I will warn once by leaving the situation, after that - don't expect me to speak to you anymore. We are beyond the old addage of if you don't have anything nice to say... I don't want to hear the jokes or innuendos - I don't want to hear the generalizations. I don't want to be a participant in it anymore.
I've read about too many suicides thanks to bullying, I don't want to read another. I am enabling if I just sit idly by and let you participate in the hate. Racism, Sexism, Homophobia...don't care any more - there's no place for them in my life.
I know the world isn't perfect, but my family and friends are an educated folk - and we should be way beyond this. I don't care what your political leanings are, who you voted for or are planning to vote for - hatred has to go. If you think the joke is funny, think about how you'd feel being on the receiving end - if you were the one being made fun of. If you still think its funny - I'm here to tell you its not!
My framily is made up of many races. There are folks of different sexual orientations. There are men and women, there are Republicans and Democrats, Liberals and Conservatives, and yes - there are a few prejudiced folks in there too - this is my part to make the world a better place.
I love you all dearly and hope that it doesn't ever come to me having to walk out or even have these conversations, I'm hoping we are all bigger people - but I'm so fed up with the state of the world right now, this is the one small thing I feel I can do to contribute.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Los Angeles...
So I was in Los Angeles recently and as much as I like to visit for work or pleasure, I always wonder if I could live there...I don't know if I would like the driving all over the place all the time though.
I worked on Law and Order for a few years when I first started at NBC Universal. We shot on location in New York City, in some amazing places and in some really not so amazing ones. There were dark, back alleys. There were disgusting tunnels, and gross basements...places I wouldn't normally go. I loved my time working on Law and Order - of all the shows that I worked on, they were the hardest to say goodbye to when I left television...
I'm traveling for work currently and caught the premiere episode of Law and Order: Los Angeles tonight. While it's not the originial, it's closer than SVU or Criminal Intent ever have been. The formula is there, they got that right. It's about the story and the crime. I'm secretly jealous though...I got back alleys and dirty NYC streets and the locations on this show are amazing mansions, pools and the Sunset Strip...I think I got the wrong end of the stick on this one!
I worked on Law and Order for a few years when I first started at NBC Universal. We shot on location in New York City, in some amazing places and in some really not so amazing ones. There were dark, back alleys. There were disgusting tunnels, and gross basements...places I wouldn't normally go. I loved my time working on Law and Order - of all the shows that I worked on, they were the hardest to say goodbye to when I left television...
I'm traveling for work currently and caught the premiere episode of Law and Order: Los Angeles tonight. While it's not the originial, it's closer than SVU or Criminal Intent ever have been. The formula is there, they got that right. It's about the story and the crime. I'm secretly jealous though...I got back alleys and dirty NYC streets and the locations on this show are amazing mansions, pools and the Sunset Strip...I think I got the wrong end of the stick on this one!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Earthquake...
The ground didn't shake, you didn't miss the press conference, there's just been a bit of figurative earthquake in my life recently and it's left exposed some walls that had apparently previously crumbled, but I didn't realize it. I guess it is akin to buying a house and not knowing that the foundation was crumbling. I feel exposed and vulnerable. I don't know which end is up and I don't know which way to get out. The worst part is not knowing what to think anymore. All the things I believed to be true are turning out to not be as truthful as previous thought. Perception has altered. The compass is spinning, searching for North.
I've spent the better part of the last three days trying to figure out which way is up and evaluating if that is indeed the direction I want to travel. I could, conceivably, just use the knowledge I have found and continue down the same path, prepared for the future. I could prop the foundation up and fix it, make it stronger. I could say fuck it and walk away. Which is the better decision? Which will make things easy? Comfortable? Livable?
I have never really talked about walking away from an abusive relationship and the turmoil that caused me and my life, but I did and I started anew, fresh new beginnings and a new "life," so to speak. It might be that time again.
Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away, to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed? That's about what I am feeling right now. I just don't know. I'm torn and conflicted. I feel like the world is still shaking below me and I don't have my footing yet. It might take me a while to find it again.
I've spent the better part of the last three days trying to figure out which way is up and evaluating if that is indeed the direction I want to travel. I could, conceivably, just use the knowledge I have found and continue down the same path, prepared for the future. I could prop the foundation up and fix it, make it stronger. I could say fuck it and walk away. Which is the better decision? Which will make things easy? Comfortable? Livable?
I have never really talked about walking away from an abusive relationship and the turmoil that caused me and my life, but I did and I started anew, fresh new beginnings and a new "life," so to speak. It might be that time again.
Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away, to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed? That's about what I am feeling right now. I just don't know. I'm torn and conflicted. I feel like the world is still shaking below me and I don't have my footing yet. It might take me a while to find it again.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Prop 8
A lot has happened since Prop 8 was voted on. A lot has happened since Prop 8 was over-turned yesterday. A lot of people stood on both sides of the issue and now a bunch of them that lost are spouting the bigotry again, and trying to scare everyone into feuling the culture wars again. I’m gonna break down some of my favorite quotes that have come up since the ruling was issued.
CONCERNED WOMEN FOR AMERICA:
"Judge Walker’s decision goes far beyond homosexual ‘marriage’ to strike at the heart of our representative democracy. Judge Walker has declared, in effect, that his opinion is supreme and ‘We the People’ are no longer free to govern ourselves. The ruling should be appealed and overturned immediately. Marriage is not a political toy. It is too important to treat as a means for already powerful people to gain preferred status or acceptance. Marriage between one man and one woman undergirds a stable society and cannot be replaced by any other living arrangement. Citizens of California voted to uphold marriage because they understood the sacred nature of marriage and that homosexual activists use same-sex ‘marriage’ as a political juggernaut to indoctrinate young children in schools to reject their parent’s values and to harass, sue and punish people who disagree. CWA stands in prayer for our nation as we continue to defend marriage as the holy union God created between one man and one woman.”
ME: Marriage is not a political toy. Really, this coming from groups like yours that use it as a wedge issue and make it a political toy when they feel threatened. Pick another position on this before I can start to take you seriously. K? Thanks.
NEWT GINGRICH:
"Judge Walker's ruling overturning Prop 8 is an outrageous disrespect for our Constitution and for the majority of people of the United States who believe marriage is the union of husband and wife. In every state of the union from California to Maine to Georgia, where the people have had a chance to vote they've affirmed that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Congress now has the responsibility to act immediately to reaffirm marriage as a union of one man and one woman as our national policy."
Me: So, using your rationale Newt – the next time you want to get married (to wife number 4), I want to be able to vote yay or nay and decide whether or not you’re able to. Pick another position on this before I start to take you seriously. Next.
BISHOP HARRY JACKSON:
“This is a travesty of justice. The majority of Californians — and two-thirds of black voters in California -- have just had their core civil right to vote for marriage stripped from them by an openly gay federal judge who has misread history and the Constitution to impose his San Francisco views on the American people. The implicit comparison Judge Walker made between racism and marriage is particularly offensive to me and to all of us who remember the reality of Jim Crow. It is not bigotry, it is biology that discriminates between same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples. To make a marriage requires a husband and a wife, because these unions are necessary to make new life and connect children to their mother and father. Judge Walker’s slur will not stand the test of time and history, we demand that Congress and the Supreme Court act to protect all Americans’ right to vote for marriage.”
Me: Since when did it become a core civil right to be able to vote on the civil rights of others in this nation? Someone obviously doesn’t remember the Jim Crow laws as well as he would like to you to believe as they resulted in separate but equal status under the law, which is why they were eventually struck down, AND why Prop 8 was over-turned as well. Might want to study up again, pick another position and maybe I’ll start to take you seriously then. Next.
FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL:
"This lawsuit, should it be upheld on appeal and in the Supreme Court, would become the 'Roe v. Wade' of same-sex 'marriage,' overturning the marriage laws of 45 states. As with abortion, the Supreme Court's involvement would only make the issue more volatile. It's time for the far Left to stop insisting that judges redefine our most fundamental social institution and using liberal courts to obtain a political goal they cannot obtain at the ballot box. "Marriage is recognized as a public institution, rather than a purely private one, because of its role in bringing together men and women for the reproduction of the human race and keeping them together to raise the children produced by their union. The fact that homosexuals prefer not to enter into marriages as historically defined does not give them a right to change the definition of what a 'marriage' is."
Me: Ummm…there are a few things wrong here, but lets start with your final quote – Marriage is a public institution. You said it not me. We are not asking for the church or religion to allow us to marry – we are asking for a state marriage. My brother and sister in law got married by a justice of the peace and my sister and brother in law were married in a church – both couples are married in the eyes of the state and the nation, even though they weren’t the same ceremonies. Why does the opposition always seem to confuse Religion and State/Federal issues? I’m not asking for religious recognition, I’m asking for my rights to be upheld under the law. And since when did we get to vote on marriage – other than gay marriage? If you get to vote on mine, I want to vote on yours. Pick another position before I can start to take you seriously and then maybe we’ll talk! Next!
MAGGIE GALLAGHER, former President (NOM):
"The ‘trial’ in San Francisco in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case is a unique, and disturbing, episode in American jurisprudence. Here we have an openly gay (according to the San Francisco Chronicle) federal judge substituting his views for those of the American people and of our Founding Fathers who I promise you would be shocked by courts that imagine they have the right to put gay marriage in our Constitution. We call on the Supreme Court and Congress to protect the people’s right to vote for marriage."
Me: I love that she uses quotes around trial, as if this wasn’t one, a farce and just something to waste people’s time and money. Does she feel that way because her side lost? You can bet that had Prop 8 been upheld she would have been praising the trial and the justice system. The founding fathers would not be shocked at putting gay marriage into the constitution. We did not and have not written gay marriage into the Constitution, which should be pointed out is a living document. What the judge did was uphold the Constitution that promises equal protection under the law for all citizens – not just straight white ones. Call me if you need clarification on this process, Maggie. It’s been a few years since I was a Poli Sci major, but I still grasp the basic tenets. And by the way, I don’t CARE what the views of the Founding Fathers were, I care what they wrote into law, and what they wrote into law was freedom for all and basic rights for everyone! You call on Congress to put marriage rights up for a vote? Really, Seriously? That’s rich. You’re asking for the ability to vote to take rights away from citizens of this country – now who wants to change the Constitution? Pick another position and get back to me before I can even start to take you seriously. Next!
These are the statement’s I’ll carry with me, thank you very much. They are truly understanding of the issue and what it means to the nation and to them personally. Why can’t more people like Cyndi and Judy get it?
CYNDI LAUPER:
"Gay and lesbian couples have long struggled for acceptance and the ability to marry the person they love and want to build a family with. Today's landmark ruling declaring Proposition 8 unconstitutional is a testament to the fundamentals on which this great country was built and validates that the discrimination gay couples face must come to an end. We as a society should be embracing these couples and helping them make the lifelong commitment to each other that many of us straight people take for granted each and every day. This decision is a major step in the right direction towards equality. On behalf of the True Colors Fund and the Give a Damn Campaign, I want to commend and thank Chad Griffin and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the legal team headed by Ted Olson and David Boies, and the plaintiffs in the case, Kris Perry & Sandy Stier and Paul Katami & Jeff Zarrillo, for their leadership and courage in standing up for equality and fairness."
JUDY SHEPARD: mother of Matthew Shepard:
“These plaintiffs are law-abiding, family-oriented, tax-paying citizens whose privacy was invaded, and whose dignity was affronted, by a misguided and unconstitutional law. Their victory at trial shows that our courts still play a vital role in safeguarding the rights of minorities from majorities who misunderstand them. But more importantly, it proves the power of personal stories. Equal marriage rights are ultimately about people’s families, and during the trial, their personal need for legal recognition of their relationships came through loud and clear. After Matt came out to me, he once asked me if I thought gay couples would ever be allowed to get married. I told him I didn’t think it would happen in my lifetime, but it probably would in his. It’s so sad, and ironic, that it turned out the other way. But this case warms my heart, to think that his dream is still coming true.”
CONCERNED WOMEN FOR AMERICA:
"Judge Walker’s decision goes far beyond homosexual ‘marriage’ to strike at the heart of our representative democracy. Judge Walker has declared, in effect, that his opinion is supreme and ‘We the People’ are no longer free to govern ourselves. The ruling should be appealed and overturned immediately. Marriage is not a political toy. It is too important to treat as a means for already powerful people to gain preferred status or acceptance. Marriage between one man and one woman undergirds a stable society and cannot be replaced by any other living arrangement. Citizens of California voted to uphold marriage because they understood the sacred nature of marriage and that homosexual activists use same-sex ‘marriage’ as a political juggernaut to indoctrinate young children in schools to reject their parent’s values and to harass, sue and punish people who disagree. CWA stands in prayer for our nation as we continue to defend marriage as the holy union God created between one man and one woman.”
ME: Marriage is not a political toy. Really, this coming from groups like yours that use it as a wedge issue and make it a political toy when they feel threatened. Pick another position on this before I can start to take you seriously. K? Thanks.
NEWT GINGRICH:
"Judge Walker's ruling overturning Prop 8 is an outrageous disrespect for our Constitution and for the majority of people of the United States who believe marriage is the union of husband and wife. In every state of the union from California to Maine to Georgia, where the people have had a chance to vote they've affirmed that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Congress now has the responsibility to act immediately to reaffirm marriage as a union of one man and one woman as our national policy."
Me: So, using your rationale Newt – the next time you want to get married (to wife number 4), I want to be able to vote yay or nay and decide whether or not you’re able to. Pick another position on this before I start to take you seriously. Next.
BISHOP HARRY JACKSON:
“This is a travesty of justice. The majority of Californians — and two-thirds of black voters in California -- have just had their core civil right to vote for marriage stripped from them by an openly gay federal judge who has misread history and the Constitution to impose his San Francisco views on the American people. The implicit comparison Judge Walker made between racism and marriage is particularly offensive to me and to all of us who remember the reality of Jim Crow. It is not bigotry, it is biology that discriminates between same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples. To make a marriage requires a husband and a wife, because these unions are necessary to make new life and connect children to their mother and father. Judge Walker’s slur will not stand the test of time and history, we demand that Congress and the Supreme Court act to protect all Americans’ right to vote for marriage.”
Me: Since when did it become a core civil right to be able to vote on the civil rights of others in this nation? Someone obviously doesn’t remember the Jim Crow laws as well as he would like to you to believe as they resulted in separate but equal status under the law, which is why they were eventually struck down, AND why Prop 8 was over-turned as well. Might want to study up again, pick another position and maybe I’ll start to take you seriously then. Next.
FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL:
"This lawsuit, should it be upheld on appeal and in the Supreme Court, would become the 'Roe v. Wade' of same-sex 'marriage,' overturning the marriage laws of 45 states. As with abortion, the Supreme Court's involvement would only make the issue more volatile. It's time for the far Left to stop insisting that judges redefine our most fundamental social institution and using liberal courts to obtain a political goal they cannot obtain at the ballot box. "Marriage is recognized as a public institution, rather than a purely private one, because of its role in bringing together men and women for the reproduction of the human race and keeping them together to raise the children produced by their union. The fact that homosexuals prefer not to enter into marriages as historically defined does not give them a right to change the definition of what a 'marriage' is."
Me: Ummm…there are a few things wrong here, but lets start with your final quote – Marriage is a public institution. You said it not me. We are not asking for the church or religion to allow us to marry – we are asking for a state marriage. My brother and sister in law got married by a justice of the peace and my sister and brother in law were married in a church – both couples are married in the eyes of the state and the nation, even though they weren’t the same ceremonies. Why does the opposition always seem to confuse Religion and State/Federal issues? I’m not asking for religious recognition, I’m asking for my rights to be upheld under the law. And since when did we get to vote on marriage – other than gay marriage? If you get to vote on mine, I want to vote on yours. Pick another position before I can start to take you seriously and then maybe we’ll talk! Next!
MAGGIE GALLAGHER, former President (NOM):
"The ‘trial’ in San Francisco in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case is a unique, and disturbing, episode in American jurisprudence. Here we have an openly gay (according to the San Francisco Chronicle) federal judge substituting his views for those of the American people and of our Founding Fathers who I promise you would be shocked by courts that imagine they have the right to put gay marriage in our Constitution. We call on the Supreme Court and Congress to protect the people’s right to vote for marriage."
Me: I love that she uses quotes around trial, as if this wasn’t one, a farce and just something to waste people’s time and money. Does she feel that way because her side lost? You can bet that had Prop 8 been upheld she would have been praising the trial and the justice system. The founding fathers would not be shocked at putting gay marriage into the constitution. We did not and have not written gay marriage into the Constitution, which should be pointed out is a living document. What the judge did was uphold the Constitution that promises equal protection under the law for all citizens – not just straight white ones. Call me if you need clarification on this process, Maggie. It’s been a few years since I was a Poli Sci major, but I still grasp the basic tenets. And by the way, I don’t CARE what the views of the Founding Fathers were, I care what they wrote into law, and what they wrote into law was freedom for all and basic rights for everyone! You call on Congress to put marriage rights up for a vote? Really, Seriously? That’s rich. You’re asking for the ability to vote to take rights away from citizens of this country – now who wants to change the Constitution? Pick another position and get back to me before I can even start to take you seriously. Next!
These are the statement’s I’ll carry with me, thank you very much. They are truly understanding of the issue and what it means to the nation and to them personally. Why can’t more people like Cyndi and Judy get it?
CYNDI LAUPER:
"Gay and lesbian couples have long struggled for acceptance and the ability to marry the person they love and want to build a family with. Today's landmark ruling declaring Proposition 8 unconstitutional is a testament to the fundamentals on which this great country was built and validates that the discrimination gay couples face must come to an end. We as a society should be embracing these couples and helping them make the lifelong commitment to each other that many of us straight people take for granted each and every day. This decision is a major step in the right direction towards equality. On behalf of the True Colors Fund and the Give a Damn Campaign, I want to commend and thank Chad Griffin and the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the legal team headed by Ted Olson and David Boies, and the plaintiffs in the case, Kris Perry & Sandy Stier and Paul Katami & Jeff Zarrillo, for their leadership and courage in standing up for equality and fairness."
JUDY SHEPARD: mother of Matthew Shepard:
“These plaintiffs are law-abiding, family-oriented, tax-paying citizens whose privacy was invaded, and whose dignity was affronted, by a misguided and unconstitutional law. Their victory at trial shows that our courts still play a vital role in safeguarding the rights of minorities from majorities who misunderstand them. But more importantly, it proves the power of personal stories. Equal marriage rights are ultimately about people’s families, and during the trial, their personal need for legal recognition of their relationships came through loud and clear. After Matt came out to me, he once asked me if I thought gay couples would ever be allowed to get married. I told him I didn’t think it would happen in my lifetime, but it probably would in his. It’s so sad, and ironic, that it turned out the other way. But this case warms my heart, to think that his dream is still coming true.”
Monday, August 2, 2010
Boycotts...
So Target and Best Buy made some donations to anti-gay candidates because they favored their pro-business stance. Now there are calls for boycotts of both big retailers from within the LGBT community. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
I go back and forth on this all the time...with any type of boycott. Traditionally Target has been a big supporter of LGBT rights, and now they've made one questionable contribution. Should we boycott them and put our considerable money where our mouth is? I don't honestly know. What are our reasons for the boycott? Are we boycotting for this one decision or a larger pattern? I don't see uprisings and movements to boycott Fox News and the advertisers that advertise on them and they are clearly more virulently anti-gay than Target, even given this one contribution. Have we taken a look at the big picture?
Take for example, Bill Clinton - a huge supporter for LGBT rights and yet he passed DADT and DOMA. We didn't and still don't boycott him. Which was, in the long run, more detrimental to the LGBT community - Targets one time contribution or the DOMA and DADT enacted under the Clinton administration? President Obama has cut funding for AIDS and arguably done nothing for the LGBT community other than say he is a fierce advocate - we aren't standing up in protest with every voice in out community calling for more action or a boycott, are we?
All of this aside, this isn't to say I agree with Target or Best Buy's contributions, but where do we start drawing the line? What would you do if the community called on you to boycott your employer? What are the members of our community that work at either Target or Best Buy supposed to do? What would you do if you had to make the decision between standing with your community in protest and boycott or your financial independence because you work for the employer that is being protested?
We must also take into account or other options and alternatives. For example, we are boycotting Target, so where else can you go for lower cost supplies? Wal-Mart? Nope, they are sexist, racist, homophobic and don't treat their employees with dignity or respect. What other national low-cost retailers there? Not all of us in the community can afford to shop high end all the time. And, quite honestly - when Target is selling me body wash for 2.14 and it's 3.99 or higher elsewhere - why would you shop elsewhere? Best Buy is out now too, where can I go that's a national electronics retail chain? Circuit City is gone. Hmmm. The TV I bought months ago at Best Buy is still under warranty there. If something breaks, can I take it into Best Buy for service since it's under warranty or am I supposed to shell out money elsewhere since we're protesting now?
Again, I'm not taking sides - I'm asking the question. I have been right there on the line before in protest and boycott, and as I've grown older I have started to question a little more before I become the lemming off the cliff. What are we really accomplishing with the boycott? Are we boycotting Target and Best Buy equally? What about every other company that has made anti-gay campaign contributions - where can we shop anymore if all of a sudden we are protesting everyone? Just askin...
UPDATE 08/05/10: Target CEO issues an apology. Are we done boycotting now and moving on? Can we shop there again or is this not enough? If not, what's it going to take? Not judging, just asking the questions.
UPDATE 08/06/10: And apparently it gets worse for Target. Where does the boycott stand now?
UPDATE 08/10/10: Apparently, I am not the only one questioning what the motives and motivation behind this boycott are. Again, not saying I agree or disagree, just asking the questions.
I go back and forth on this all the time...with any type of boycott. Traditionally Target has been a big supporter of LGBT rights, and now they've made one questionable contribution. Should we boycott them and put our considerable money where our mouth is? I don't honestly know. What are our reasons for the boycott? Are we boycotting for this one decision or a larger pattern? I don't see uprisings and movements to boycott Fox News and the advertisers that advertise on them and they are clearly more virulently anti-gay than Target, even given this one contribution. Have we taken a look at the big picture?
Take for example, Bill Clinton - a huge supporter for LGBT rights and yet he passed DADT and DOMA. We didn't and still don't boycott him. Which was, in the long run, more detrimental to the LGBT community - Targets one time contribution or the DOMA and DADT enacted under the Clinton administration? President Obama has cut funding for AIDS and arguably done nothing for the LGBT community other than say he is a fierce advocate - we aren't standing up in protest with every voice in out community calling for more action or a boycott, are we?
All of this aside, this isn't to say I agree with Target or Best Buy's contributions, but where do we start drawing the line? What would you do if the community called on you to boycott your employer? What are the members of our community that work at either Target or Best Buy supposed to do? What would you do if you had to make the decision between standing with your community in protest and boycott or your financial independence because you work for the employer that is being protested?
We must also take into account or other options and alternatives. For example, we are boycotting Target, so where else can you go for lower cost supplies? Wal-Mart? Nope, they are sexist, racist, homophobic and don't treat their employees with dignity or respect. What other national low-cost retailers there? Not all of us in the community can afford to shop high end all the time. And, quite honestly - when Target is selling me body wash for 2.14 and it's 3.99 or higher elsewhere - why would you shop elsewhere? Best Buy is out now too, where can I go that's a national electronics retail chain? Circuit City is gone. Hmmm. The TV I bought months ago at Best Buy is still under warranty there. If something breaks, can I take it into Best Buy for service since it's under warranty or am I supposed to shell out money elsewhere since we're protesting now?
Again, I'm not taking sides - I'm asking the question. I have been right there on the line before in protest and boycott, and as I've grown older I have started to question a little more before I become the lemming off the cliff. What are we really accomplishing with the boycott? Are we boycotting Target and Best Buy equally? What about every other company that has made anti-gay campaign contributions - where can we shop anymore if all of a sudden we are protesting everyone? Just askin...
UPDATE 08/05/10: Target CEO issues an apology. Are we done boycotting now and moving on? Can we shop there again or is this not enough? If not, what's it going to take? Not judging, just asking the questions.
UPDATE 08/06/10: And apparently it gets worse for Target. Where does the boycott stand now?
UPDATE 08/10/10: Apparently, I am not the only one questioning what the motives and motivation behind this boycott are. Again, not saying I agree or disagree, just asking the questions.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Boyfriend Material
A few times lately I've been asked why I'm single. Picky, I guess? I expect more than a quickie and dinner? I want someone to stick around and hold my hand? I just haven't found the right guy yet?
The real answer is not any of those things or by any means that simple. I am picky, and I do expect those things and I haven't found Mr Right yet. But it is infinitely more than any or all of those things. I am. a complicated mess. The right person has to crack that and get inside. Very few people ever do - besties not withstanding.
I am a hopeless romantic and I want someone who believes in romantic gestures - BIG or small. Love stories on the screen and the pages have coloured my perspective. Every new love song written renews my hope HE is out there. It would be nice to get a random text/tweet/bb messenger (pick your favorite new technology here) in the middle of the day just so he could tell me he's thinking of me. Holding my hand is BIG! I mean BIG - I love nothing more than wandering around the city and feeling our hands inter-twined, not knowing where his ends and mine begins.
I am over the hill, at least in gay years. 30 was years ago. I am not out of shape and pot-bellied, but I am not the chelsea clone who doesn't eat and spends hour upon hour at the gym (do they work?). I am in better shape now than I was at 30 - so take that 20 somethings! And, because I did it for me, and not to land a man - it will stick with me and I won't let myself go to pot after I'm in a relationship.
I am GAY. I don't mean that in the sense that I wear a big rainbow cape and spandex suit as this years new gay superhero, but I gave up caring who knew a long time ago. I am not one who has to label people masculine or feminine - and too much of my culture cares about those labels these days. I go to sports bars and drag bars. I can try and be butch, but I also can queen out - there's a list - I will forward it to you in advance, if you're applying for the position.
The real answer is not any of those things or by any means that simple. I am picky, and I do expect those things and I haven't found Mr Right yet. But it is infinitely more than any or all of those things. I am. a complicated mess. The right person has to crack that and get inside. Very few people ever do - besties not withstanding.
I am a hopeless romantic and I want someone who believes in romantic gestures - BIG or small. Love stories on the screen and the pages have coloured my perspective. Every new love song written renews my hope HE is out there. It would be nice to get a random text/tweet/bb messenger (pick your favorite new technology here) in the middle of the day just so he could tell me he's thinking of me. Holding my hand is BIG! I mean BIG - I love nothing more than wandering around the city and feeling our hands inter-twined, not knowing where his ends and mine begins.
I am over the hill, at least in gay years. 30 was years ago. I am not out of shape and pot-bellied, but I am not the chelsea clone who doesn't eat and spends hour upon hour at the gym (do they work?). I am in better shape now than I was at 30 - so take that 20 somethings! And, because I did it for me, and not to land a man - it will stick with me and I won't let myself go to pot after I'm in a relationship.
I am GAY. I don't mean that in the sense that I wear a big rainbow cape and spandex suit as this years new gay superhero, but I gave up caring who knew a long time ago. I am not one who has to label people masculine or feminine - and too much of my culture cares about those labels these days. I go to sports bars and drag bars. I can try and be butch, but I also can queen out - there's a list - I will forward it to you in advance, if you're applying for the position.
I guess the really simple answer to the question is, I haven't found someone that is boyfriend material. I don't want to really be single forever, and I don't want to rush into any relationship. I want someone who is emotionally available, who is interested in being in a relationship with ME, not just be in a relationship. Someone who can be my best friend and romantic and fun and can hold up his end of the conversation. Someone who is Prince Charming and a little Malificent too. Someone I can share it all with and won't run away or close off. Someone I don't have to scale walls to get to and who's got matching baggage to mine - none of us are without baggage, so I'm being realistic. Too much to ask for? Maybe so...
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Sign o' the Times?
I'm sick of being the one that's left behind. It seems with all my relationships, I am the one that's left, its rare that I do the leaving. Even boys that I've dated for a spell and remain friends with seem to employ this attitude of disposability. If we are to remain friends folks, it works two ways - I cannot, and will not any longer, be the one making all the effort to reach out and try to make plans. And another thing - inviting me to a large gathering where I will see you for 30 seconds, perhaps, all night long does not constitute plans. Especially when I haven't seen you in months! Tweeting me and saying hi on facebook are great and all, but don't count as contact either.
This isn't a ploy for pity or crying out for help, those in the know will know me better than that, this is just me venting and getting shit off my chest. For as far as technology has taken us, I still want old fashioned, face to face contact every once in a while, especially from my friends!. I'm not looking to date a computer, society judges me enough for dating men!
All of this pondering has left me questioning technology. Are we better off with it? Are we forming lasting relationships when our only interaction is mostly online? Are they even relationships at all? Oh what tangled webs we weave...
This isn't a ploy for pity or crying out for help, those in the know will know me better than that, this is just me venting and getting shit off my chest. For as far as technology has taken us, I still want old fashioned, face to face contact every once in a while, especially from my friends!. I'm not looking to date a computer, society judges me enough for dating men!
All of this pondering has left me questioning technology. Are we better off with it? Are we forming lasting relationships when our only interaction is mostly online? Are they even relationships at all? Oh what tangled webs we weave...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Most Magical Man...
I've started compiling my most magical man list. I was chatting with a friend recently about dating, finding a man and sticking to principles. What's more important - a man that doesn't smoke or one who does but can carry a conversation? Why should I have to settle? Why am I not entitled to both! I am!
We got to talking about the book The Most Magical Man List about a woman who sets out to find love by writing up her list of characteristics that she most desires and won't compromise on. Could she find a guy that held all the qualities she sought? Was it worth a second or third date if a majority of the list was lacking?
That conversation got me thinking - what would my most magical man list look like? Looking back at all my exes - what qualities would I keep? I know which ones I don't want, obviously. I started compiling my list - its easier than I thought, when I actually sat down and started thinking about it. I did feel a little like Jane and Michael Banks though. Should I put them to song and sing about …y most magical man - after all, when they did it they ended up with the perfect Nanny. Surely if it worked for the kids in Mary Poppins it would work for me, right?
Well, I don't know that I will be putting it into song anytime soon, but I have a good list going now, and every once in a while I find myself adding a quality or characteristic to it. Now to find a man that has a majority or all of those qualities!
We got to talking about the book The Most Magical Man List about a woman who sets out to find love by writing up her list of characteristics that she most desires and won't compromise on. Could she find a guy that held all the qualities she sought? Was it worth a second or third date if a majority of the list was lacking?
That conversation got me thinking - what would my most magical man list look like? Looking back at all my exes - what qualities would I keep? I know which ones I don't want, obviously. I started compiling my list - its easier than I thought, when I actually sat down and started thinking about it. I did feel a little like Jane and Michael Banks though. Should I put them to song and sing about …y most magical man - after all, when they did it they ended up with the perfect Nanny. Surely if it worked for the kids in Mary Poppins it would work for me, right?
Well, I don't know that I will be putting it into song anytime soon, but I have a good list going now, and every once in a while I find myself adding a quality or characteristic to it. Now to find a man that has a majority or all of those qualities!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Labels...
I've hooked up with a few guys recently who claim to be heterosexual, yet wanted to mess around with another guy. Curious you say, well, I said the same thing. It got me thinking though; about labels. Why do we feel the need to have to label everything?
I get putting a label on the leftovers so you know what they are and when they were made. I get labeling the items in a store so we, as consumers, know how much we will be paying. I don't get putting a label on a person.
I was labeled as a kid: speech impaired (I couldn't say my own last name, but then again, neither could any of my teachers), talented and gifted, the good boy. Some of those labels stick with you forever! I am forever living down the good boy label!
I have been with women and men - does that mean I'm not gay? That's how I self-identify. I have friends that have been with both women and men, and they are gay men, straight men, lesbians and straight women. Who decides? Perhaps, as Kinsey pointed out all those years ago, our sexuality is fluid, and over time can change. Perhaps, as in other cultures, these men and women are just more in tune with their bodies and what feels good to them, regardless of how others label it.
Personally, I think if we, as a society, let go of some of our pent up need to make things fit into certain boxes or labels we would be far better off, and people might actually enjoy themselves a bit more. Save the labels for the leftovers!
I get putting a label on the leftovers so you know what they are and when they were made. I get labeling the items in a store so we, as consumers, know how much we will be paying. I don't get putting a label on a person.
I was labeled as a kid: speech impaired (I couldn't say my own last name, but then again, neither could any of my teachers), talented and gifted, the good boy. Some of those labels stick with you forever! I am forever living down the good boy label!
I have been with women and men - does that mean I'm not gay? That's how I self-identify. I have friends that have been with both women and men, and they are gay men, straight men, lesbians and straight women. Who decides? Perhaps, as Kinsey pointed out all those years ago, our sexuality is fluid, and over time can change. Perhaps, as in other cultures, these men and women are just more in tune with their bodies and what feels good to them, regardless of how others label it.
Personally, I think if we, as a society, let go of some of our pent up need to make things fit into certain boxes or labels we would be far better off, and people might actually enjoy themselves a bit more. Save the labels for the leftovers!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Life through Polarized Lenses...
Everyone else can look at the world through rose coloured glasses, I prefer to look at life through polarized lenses. They are modern, stylish and come in several hues. Besides, they let you see what's safety glass and what's not - if you know what you're looking for.
So, keep your rose coloured lenses if you want, but that only makes the world have a rosy hue, it doesn't make it any better or worse. At least with polarized lenses you see the world as it is, and protect your eyes from harmful UV rays, but I digress.
The ability to change your perspective on what your looking at around you doesn't come from the lenses you look through, but from within you. Keep a positive outlook, and regardless of the hue of the lenses, the world will be rosy.
So, keep your rose coloured lenses if you want, but that only makes the world have a rosy hue, it doesn't make it any better or worse. At least with polarized lenses you see the world as it is, and protect your eyes from harmful UV rays, but I digress.
The ability to change your perspective on what your looking at around you doesn't come from the lenses you look through, but from within you. Keep a positive outlook, and regardless of the hue of the lenses, the world will be rosy.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Journey
We are all on this journey called life. Some of us are in it together, some of us are in it to win it. Others prefer to fly solo, and stay off the radar. Some of us believe in humanity, while others do all they can to discredit it.
Every once in a while, our journey, for whatever reason, gets de-railed. We end up in a relationship where we lose a piece of ourselves. Sometimes, its a job that completely occupies all of our time and keeps us isolated from our friends and family, or involves far off travel or relocation.
Occasionally we are granted the opportunity to reset our journey and begin anew. We decide to take things into our own hands - we quit or leave the demanding job, we end the abusive relationship, we pick up and move to another place to start over.
I've been fortunate enough to have hit the reset button, not once, but twice - although argument could be made that it was the same reset, just in steps. I think, 10 years after my last reset, my system might be ready for another. I feel all sorts of complacency lately, and I don't know why. I can narrow things down and eliminate them as the cause, but as things get ticked off the list it just becomes a bigger mystery - so perhaps a general reset is warranted.
Every once in a while, our journey, for whatever reason, gets de-railed. We end up in a relationship where we lose a piece of ourselves. Sometimes, its a job that completely occupies all of our time and keeps us isolated from our friends and family, or involves far off travel or relocation.
Occasionally we are granted the opportunity to reset our journey and begin anew. We decide to take things into our own hands - we quit or leave the demanding job, we end the abusive relationship, we pick up and move to another place to start over.
I've been fortunate enough to have hit the reset button, not once, but twice - although argument could be made that it was the same reset, just in steps. I think, 10 years after my last reset, my system might be ready for another. I feel all sorts of complacency lately, and I don't know why. I can narrow things down and eliminate them as the cause, but as things get ticked off the list it just becomes a bigger mystery - so perhaps a general reset is warranted.
Friday, May 14, 2010
End of an Era
It's appears that it's an end of an era in the world of television. If this is to be believed, after 20 years, Law and Order will come to an end.
Before I moved to NYC, it was one of the shows I watched because of all the NYC locations and shots. When I moved here, I loved it more - watching to see how many places I knew or had been to. My former roommate and I used to watch religiously, even the re-runs, to see where we knew and what they were trying to pass off as a location other than what it was. Hudson University, for example, doesn't exist, so various other colleges and universities in the area were often used in place.
When I took my current job, this was the first production I worked on. Walking around the ins and outs of the set were a part of my interview process. I climbed into the perms and under the stages. It was almost surreal to be on the set of the show I had watched for years. It was even more surreal a few seasons later when I was working on the taping of the 365th episode. 365 episodes. That meant you could watch an episode a day for a year and never see a repeat - there are many more episodes than that now. How many shows get to say they've filmed 365 episodes? It was monumental to be a part of. It was a time I will never forget. There were a ton of guest stars that I remember, a ton of faces of cast and crew that were amazing to work with.
Even though I've moved on to another area of focus, my time at Law and Order was always among my favorite with all of the television shows I worked on. I am feeling the loss today along with my friends from the show. Congrats to 20 seasons and a long run and thanks for the great memories.
Before I moved to NYC, it was one of the shows I watched because of all the NYC locations and shots. When I moved here, I loved it more - watching to see how many places I knew or had been to. My former roommate and I used to watch religiously, even the re-runs, to see where we knew and what they were trying to pass off as a location other than what it was. Hudson University, for example, doesn't exist, so various other colleges and universities in the area were often used in place.
When I took my current job, this was the first production I worked on. Walking around the ins and outs of the set were a part of my interview process. I climbed into the perms and under the stages. It was almost surreal to be on the set of the show I had watched for years. It was even more surreal a few seasons later when I was working on the taping of the 365th episode. 365 episodes. That meant you could watch an episode a day for a year and never see a repeat - there are many more episodes than that now. How many shows get to say they've filmed 365 episodes? It was monumental to be a part of. It was a time I will never forget. There were a ton of guest stars that I remember, a ton of faces of cast and crew that were amazing to work with.
Even though I've moved on to another area of focus, my time at Law and Order was always among my favorite with all of the television shows I worked on. I am feeling the loss today along with my friends from the show. Congrats to 20 seasons and a long run and thanks for the great memories.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Musicals...
If my life were a musical, would I get to pick all the numbers? Who would play me? Do I really walk around and just start belting out songs randomly? (sarcasm, yes...songs, not so much - although it's happened.) I do always have the iPod with me and have been known to adjust my mood depending on what's playing...a sure sign that music and I are the best of friends.
I don't know what songs I would pick, but music is a big part of my life - has been for as long as I can remember. Who would play me? Not sure if he can carry a tune, but Michael Vartan and I apparently look similar (it was either him or Rick Astley - been told I look like both of them...and really, was there another choice to go with there?).
All I know is the show stopping number would make your heart pound and make you understand the power of a great musical. Will keep you posted when I figure out what all the numbers are...
I don't know what songs I would pick, but music is a big part of my life - has been for as long as I can remember. Who would play me? Not sure if he can carry a tune, but Michael Vartan and I apparently look similar (it was either him or Rick Astley - been told I look like both of them...and really, was there another choice to go with there?).
All I know is the show stopping number would make your heart pound and make you understand the power of a great musical. Will keep you posted when I figure out what all the numbers are...
Monday, May 10, 2010
The glass is...
the glass is either half full, or it's half empty. I'm sick of those options. If I paid for the drink (either literally or figuratively) I want my glass full! I'll be the one to empty it thank you very much. I don't want it presented to me with only half. Let's face it, half full or half empty - there's still only half a drink in that glass!
If I've given my time, my money, my effort or even just my order - when the glass is set down in front of me I want it full. Not half full/empty and promises of things yet to come...I don't get to pay bills with a half a check and a promise for the rest when congress agrees with me, or the american people agree with me more.
Just sayin...I want my full glass now please...at my rightful place at the table!
If I've given my time, my money, my effort or even just my order - when the glass is set down in front of me I want it full. Not half full/empty and promises of things yet to come...I don't get to pay bills with a half a check and a promise for the rest when congress agrees with me, or the american people agree with me more.
Just sayin...I want my full glass now please...at my rightful place at the table!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Fat Kid...
no matter how much I work out, no matter how much I watch what I eat, no matter how much my body changes - I think there will always be an inner fat kid inside me all the time telling me I am fat or I look fat.
I know that I have made some really big strides lately - the sizes on the jeans keep going down. I know that there are muscles where there weren't before (well - they are bigger than they were before). I know why I'm doing this. For me - not for anyone else. I would like to put something on though and look in the mirror and not hear my inner fat kid tell me I look fat. Sometimes, I think that little voice will always be there, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing...pushing me to keep working, to not slip into old ways, to keep the sizes on the jeans from going up again.
other times, I'd like the wring the neck of the inner fat kid and tell him to shut up - I've come a long way since the husky jeans of my youth!
I know that I have made some really big strides lately - the sizes on the jeans keep going down. I know that there are muscles where there weren't before (well - they are bigger than they were before). I know why I'm doing this. For me - not for anyone else. I would like to put something on though and look in the mirror and not hear my inner fat kid tell me I look fat. Sometimes, I think that little voice will always be there, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing...pushing me to keep working, to not slip into old ways, to keep the sizes on the jeans from going up again.
other times, I'd like the wring the neck of the inner fat kid and tell him to shut up - I've come a long way since the husky jeans of my youth!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Better Late...
than pregnant! At least according to Blanche Devereaux as they play a round of Grab that Dough! Not exactly the correct phrase they were looking for, but good advice none the less.
Better late than never! I'm home! A week late thanks Icelandic Ash. I can't complain though. I got to enjoy more of London. I got to see shows I wouldn't have seen otherwise, and I got to do more shopping in the UK. How can I complain about that? I got to spend more time in a city I absolutely love.
So...better late than pregnant, I'm home!
Better late than never! I'm home! A week late thanks Icelandic Ash. I can't complain though. I got to enjoy more of London. I got to see shows I wouldn't have seen otherwise, and I got to do more shopping in the UK. How can I complain about that? I got to spend more time in a city I absolutely love.
So...better late than pregnant, I'm home!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
ASH Report - Day 11 - Repatriation
I'm sitting in the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse, typing away, uploading photos to facebook...hopefully, since it didn't work last night or this morning at the hotel, and sipping coffee that my BiL (Brother in Law) would love as it's his kind of strong...
anyway - today is my repatriation flight. I'm flying home to the USA. I will be back in my own bed this evening. I will be sleeping under my own sheets and with my George (my body pillow does deserve a name if I'm sleeping with him every night!). I love London and the UK in general, and I would love to live here...but with my own things, and my own kitchen - not in a hotel. I've done my fair share of shopping and stimulating the British economy and for a while I thought I would be here long enough to vote in the election on 6 May. Think I'd have to go for Clegg, but still unsure.
I have loved my time here - saw a few shows - Prima Donna (the Rufus Wainwright opera), Holding the Man (brilliant and powerful - as much as the book, if not more so) and We Will Rock You (for my sister and it surprised me!)
It's time to go home. Just waiting for my flight to be called...Virgin Atlantic you've been brilliant, Hilton Green Park - as always a pleasure...thanks to all the boys I had fun times with and all the drinks in Soho! In the words of the Govenator - I'll Be Back!
I strolled around Buckingham yesterday while all the roads are closed for the marathon and then through St. James park, where I found myself thinking of my grandmother alot. At the end of the park, there is a stroll through to the archway and there was a lone bag-pipe player having photos taken and just posing and showing off his skills...is it wrong that I just wondered if he was going traditional under that kilt? =)
anyway - today is my repatriation flight. I'm flying home to the USA. I will be back in my own bed this evening. I will be sleeping under my own sheets and with my George (my body pillow does deserve a name if I'm sleeping with him every night!). I love London and the UK in general, and I would love to live here...but with my own things, and my own kitchen - not in a hotel. I've done my fair share of shopping and stimulating the British economy and for a while I thought I would be here long enough to vote in the election on 6 May. Think I'd have to go for Clegg, but still unsure.
I have loved my time here - saw a few shows - Prima Donna (the Rufus Wainwright opera), Holding the Man (brilliant and powerful - as much as the book, if not more so) and We Will Rock You (for my sister and it surprised me!)
It's time to go home. Just waiting for my flight to be called...Virgin Atlantic you've been brilliant, Hilton Green Park - as always a pleasure...thanks to all the boys I had fun times with and all the drinks in Soho! In the words of the Govenator - I'll Be Back!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
ASH Report - Day 10
It's my last full day here in the UK. Tomorrow I wake up, have a little breakfast and check out of my temporary home and head to Heathrow. I have checked and re-checked. My flight is still counting down to take off - I love that Virgin Atlantic does that. I have packed...and had to buy a new bag to fit all the stuff that I bought over here. Decided that it was my last night in town and I had to see another show. I was out earlier - looking around for a new bag and ended up right near the Dominion Theater where We Will Rock You is playing. My sister is in love with Queen and that show and didn't get to see it when she was over last summer. I decided to go and see it for her.
I wasn't expecting much - most shows set around a group or artists catalog of songs just makes for a nice sing along for the audience and a bunch of groupies that just love the music. I was mistaken a little. The show actually has a little of a heart. It's definitely different and not just a bunch of Queen songs strung together - well, it is, but there's actually a story and a plot there, if contrived at times.
So now, I'm sitting in the hotel, uploading the last of the photos to facebook and blogging away and am struck that both shows I've seen in the last two days are ones that revolve around our desire to find someone to share our lives with. To make that connection in life - to have someone to share the good and bad with. I was just thinking today as I wandered around on my last day here, that, with all this extra time here, it would have been a great trip to have shared with someone...alas, I'm here solo.
I wasn't expecting much - most shows set around a group or artists catalog of songs just makes for a nice sing along for the audience and a bunch of groupies that just love the music. I was mistaken a little. The show actually has a little of a heart. It's definitely different and not just a bunch of Queen songs strung together - well, it is, but there's actually a story and a plot there, if contrived at times.
So now, I'm sitting in the hotel, uploading the last of the photos to facebook and blogging away and am struck that both shows I've seen in the last two days are ones that revolve around our desire to find someone to share our lives with. To make that connection in life - to have someone to share the good and bad with. I was just thinking today as I wandered around on my last day here, that, with all this extra time here, it would have been a great trip to have shared with someone...alas, I'm here solo.
Friday, April 23, 2010
ASH Report - Day 9
I really don't know what else to call these things anymore. The ash isn't prohibiting us from flying. Anyway, until I actually touch down on American soil again, I don't think I can call them anything else! =)
There is a huge perk to me being stranded here in London for an extra week thanks to Iceland. Holding the Man, the play opened tonight here in the West End. It's a limited 10 week run. When I saw the ads, I thought I would have to take a quick weekend trip over just to see the play, but then a volcano intervened and changed that. I loved the book Holding the Man by Timothy Conigrave. It made me laugh and it made me cry. I was excited that a play was made out of it. A friend saw it in Australia and got me hooked on the book.
Thanks Iceland and the Ash Cloud - I got to see an amazing piece of work that made me laugh, and made me cry and moved me in so many ways.
There is a huge perk to me being stranded here in London for an extra week thanks to Iceland. Holding the Man, the play opened tonight here in the West End. It's a limited 10 week run. When I saw the ads, I thought I would have to take a quick weekend trip over just to see the play, but then a volcano intervened and changed that. I loved the book Holding the Man by Timothy Conigrave. It made me laugh and it made me cry. I was excited that a play was made out of it. A friend saw it in Australia and got me hooked on the book.
Thanks Iceland and the Ash Cloud - I got to see an amazing piece of work that made me laugh, and made me cry and moved me in so many ways.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
ASH Report - Day 8
I guess it's no longer an ASH Report as they've let the planes fly again and we're not grounded over here...I just don't know what else to cal it. It's Thursday - my 12th day in London and the UK. As much as I absolutely love it here - the shopping, the sights, the sounds, the men...everything. I can't wait to get home to my own bed! It would be one thing if I lived here and had all of my creature comforts, but since I don't and this hotel bed is for shit - I want my own bed!!!
Was a working day today - so no sights or sounds to show you. Looking forward to being home. The countdown has begun. A show tomorrow night and some shopping...and I would kill right now for a large Dunkin Donuts light and sweet coffee!!! =) Just saying!
Was a working day today - so no sights or sounds to show you. Looking forward to being home. The countdown has begun. A show tomorrow night and some shopping...and I would kill right now for a large Dunkin Donuts light and sweet coffee!!! =) Just saying!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
ASH Report - Day 7
All UK airspace will have a phased re-introduction as of 10PM BST, 20 April 2010. There was a cheer went out round the nation, like they won the World Cup! It has been a long few days over here, there were conflicting reports, tension and then anger as most of the rest of Europe opened their air space and Britain still had not.
All things considered, much as I love London and have enjoyed my stay here, I cannot wait to get home to my own bed...
I toured through Hyde Park yesterday. I started up at the Speakers Corner - where I saw a rugby match, lots of people lunching, a woman twirling scarves and a business man sunning himself in nothing but his underwear (his suit neatly hung on a hanger dangling from a tree branch)...but no speakers. I wandered down through the park, took pictures and wandered the Serpentine and the Rose Garden - where there were tons of flowers and tulips, but no roses. A very curious thing!
All things considered, much as I love London and have enjoyed my stay here, I cannot wait to get home to my own bed...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
ASH Report - Day 6
There's about to be a Fruit and Veg shortage over here in the UK. Folks are being urged to not purchase more than they can eat themselves (or their family) and not to let what they are able to get go to waste. This is after all an island, and there are a bunch of things that can't be grown here. There was a flight that got out of Scotland this morning - a little twin prop plane and all the papers and news stations are carrying the picture like it's the first flight ever.
Even still, it's all quite civilised over here. I was at the Tate Modern yesterday and walked across the Millennium bridge back into the City of London, I am about 100 feet from the end of the bridge and we all get stopped by a guard because of a bin (trash can) fire. There's apparently a gas powered scooter chained to it as well, so things could get interesting. Nobody is allowed any further and we are all asked to go back across. Nobody gets a Fire Extinguisher - they just push us all back across the bridge and wait for the LFB - London Fire Brigade to arrive to extinguish the flames. It's all an interesting sight. The Tate Modern was fantastic and spent much of my time in there thinking of all the artists that I know...Mary, Bob, AJ, Jesse...
then went and had drinks and fun with a new friend...all in all, a good afternoon! =) So, here's a shot of the bin fire - from across the way - natch!
Even still, it's all quite civilised over here. I was at the Tate Modern yesterday and walked across the Millennium bridge back into the City of London, I am about 100 feet from the end of the bridge and we all get stopped by a guard because of a bin (trash can) fire. There's apparently a gas powered scooter chained to it as well, so things could get interesting. Nobody is allowed any further and we are all asked to go back across. Nobody gets a Fire Extinguisher - they just push us all back across the bridge and wait for the LFB - London Fire Brigade to arrive to extinguish the flames. It's all an interesting sight. The Tate Modern was fantastic and spent much of my time in there thinking of all the artists that I know...Mary, Bob, AJ, Jesse...
Monday, April 19, 2010
ASH Report - Day 5
Yesterday being Day 4 of the disturbance of air space due to Icelandic Ash, was also my first day of the stuff affecting my life. My flight was canceled and I was left in London (no sad face necessary as I LOVE this city and would love to call it home at some point in my life). I've got work I can do, am traveling for work (so they are picking up the cost of this trip) and there's really not much anyone can do. The boss and VP have been cool about it and really...I had nothing to do with the sacrifice to the gods to make the volcano erupt and spew ash everywhere eruption.
I have been on the phone to corporate travel (who are quite useless, I will just say) and with my airline - go Virgin Atlantic - you guys continue to rock my world. I'm re-booked (just waiting for the email with my e-ticket to come through) and flying out on Sunday 25 April. Just a week late. Not bad. Considering the back log of people they have to get through and all of the unhappy customers (I'm sure) the folks at the Virgin call centre were extremely helpful and polite in taking my re-booking.
Anyway - looks like I'll be home, fingers crossed, next Sunday afternoon! Lovely place to be stranded, this town they call London! =)
One of my favorite shots so far of the city...the archer protecting the Queens jewels atop the Tower of London
I have been on the phone to corporate travel (who are quite useless, I will just say) and with my airline - go Virgin Atlantic - you guys continue to rock my world. I'm re-booked (just waiting for the email with my e-ticket to come through) and flying out on Sunday 25 April. Just a week late. Not bad. Considering the back log of people they have to get through and all of the unhappy customers (I'm sure) the folks at the Virgin call centre were extremely helpful and polite in taking my re-booking.
Anyway - looks like I'll be home, fingers crossed, next Sunday afternoon! Lovely place to be stranded, this town they call London! =)
One of my favorite shots so far of the city...the archer protecting the Queens jewels atop the Tower of London
Sunday, April 18, 2010
ASH Report - DAy 4
I haven't really posted any updates or reports on the Icelandic Ash Cloud before now as it hasn't affected me, really, until today. I was supposed to fly home to NYC this afternoon, and learned yesterday afternoon that all Virgin Atlantic flights had been canceled for today - so no flight home for me. All Flights have been canceled for tomorrow as well. Figured I would post an ASH Report as a new blog entry.
I am over in London on business - well, was only supposed to be last week and then Iceland decided to have a volcano eruption and send all of Northern Europe into chaos. I have survived the 9/11 attacks on NYC and the aftermath - working only blocks from the trade center. I have survived snow storms and blizzards in NYC that have covered entire cars in snow and each outdoing the last in the record books. I survived the Great Blackout of 2003 where much of the East Coast of the US was in complete darkness without electricity. I survived being a traveler during the MD-80 crisis that took planes out of commission (including the one that was supposed to take me from LAX or ORD). And now, I have survived the Icelandic Ash Cloud! I feel like I need a tshirt or something!
At least I'm here on business, and there are things that can keep me busy...so I'm not too worried about an extended stay. The hotel has me booked through next Monday and I'm in contact with the airlines and corporate travel (not too helpful by the way) and will see what I can do. Until then...I'm enjoying one of my favorite cities in the world. As far as being stranded goes...London ain't a bad place to be stranded...especially on the company dime...unless I do more shopping...that's all on me! =)
ASH 4 - Europe 0
ASH Report Day 4 - out.
I am over in London on business - well, was only supposed to be last week and then Iceland decided to have a volcano eruption and send all of Northern Europe into chaos. I have survived the 9/11 attacks on NYC and the aftermath - working only blocks from the trade center. I have survived snow storms and blizzards in NYC that have covered entire cars in snow and each outdoing the last in the record books. I survived the Great Blackout of 2003 where much of the East Coast of the US was in complete darkness without electricity. I survived being a traveler during the MD-80 crisis that took planes out of commission (including the one that was supposed to take me from LAX or ORD). And now, I have survived the Icelandic Ash Cloud! I feel like I need a tshirt or something!
At least I'm here on business, and there are things that can keep me busy...so I'm not too worried about an extended stay. The hotel has me booked through next Monday and I'm in contact with the airlines and corporate travel (not too helpful by the way) and will see what I can do. Until then...I'm enjoying one of my favorite cities in the world. As far as being stranded goes...London ain't a bad place to be stranded...especially on the company dime...unless I do more shopping...that's all on me! =)
ASH 4 - Europe 0
ASH Report Day 4 - out.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
you laugh...until you cry...
so there has been a stir recently regarding senior proms. First Constance wants to bring her girlfriend and the school district cancels the prom instead of allowing her to. Then Derrick Martin asks to bring his male date and the school says yes - and supports him. Rejoice. Until you find out that his parents have kicked him out of their home because (if you read between the lines of their statement) he's gay. This poor kid. Constance might have had a tougher fight to get to prom, but she has a supportive family that is standing behind her. Derrick has lost that now...it just makes me want to cry. This poor kid is only standing up for his rights and has made a giant sacrifice because of it.
Read more about it here, still trying to figure out if there are legit ways to help him out at this point...
Read more about it here, still trying to figure out if there are legit ways to help him out at this point...
Friday, March 5, 2010
I wish...
that those that quote the Bible and use it as a tool to deny others rights and access would remember that there's only one way to heaven, but half a million ways to fall. Maybe then they would realize that they're just like the rest of us and not have to hide in the closet and react to scandal when it surrounds them!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Just thoughts...
New York City is a place where every guy has their eyes on the door, to see who walks in next and what other prospects are out there. It's like we're all waiting for something or someone better to walk into our lives, but would we even know if they did in the midst of this constant game? It would be nice to stop for a while and live in the now with someone who's not playing the game.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Masculinity
What makes someone masculine? What makes someone feminine? It's something that I have struggled with for most of my life. Even in elementary and high school I was the one being picked on for not being masculine enough. It's always made me wonder what defines masculinity. I've come to my own conclusions, they differ from other people though.
I personally believe that masculinity is defined from within. Just because you have bulging muscles and facial hair doesn't make you masculine. You can be rail thin and wiry and be more masculine than a muscle boy. It's how you feel and project yourself. I am a man, I am therefore masculine. I know that I have my moments where the feminine side shows. I can be emotional, I can be romantic - I'm gay - but that doesn't make me any less masculine than other men out there. I have a penis, and trust me when I tell you I know what one is, I've seen plenty of them! I am a man. I do not let what I wear, what my apt looks like, how I smell, what shoes I wear or what bag I carry define my masculinity.
I wear clothes that fit me well, are stylish and comfortable. I like my apt to be clean an orderly, I have a sense of style. I like to smell good, and have a few scents I really like to wear. I like to have a variety of shoes to wear, but don't call me Imelda Marcos. The bag I carry is functional, it accommodates everything I need it to: the book I'm currently reading, my gym clothes, the water bottle, the coffee thermos, my iPod and headphones, etc. None of those things define who I am with regard to my masculinity, at least not to me.
Imagine my surprise then when I'm told in the locker room of the gym last night by some ass, clearly, that my bag was not masculine enough and I should get something else. The dumb schmuck didn't know what hit him, or who he was dealing with when I replied:
That's odd, because the same could be said about your shoes. At least I don't let objects define my masculinity, good luck to you though, since clearly you do.
His jaw dropped, and I made my exit...I should write a show...or a book! I love being sarcastic and witty and being able to think on my feet...I think that's the blessing of being an out gay man that doesn't really care what everyone else thinks.
I personally believe that masculinity is defined from within. Just because you have bulging muscles and facial hair doesn't make you masculine. You can be rail thin and wiry and be more masculine than a muscle boy. It's how you feel and project yourself. I am a man, I am therefore masculine. I know that I have my moments where the feminine side shows. I can be emotional, I can be romantic - I'm gay - but that doesn't make me any less masculine than other men out there. I have a penis, and trust me when I tell you I know what one is, I've seen plenty of them! I am a man. I do not let what I wear, what my apt looks like, how I smell, what shoes I wear or what bag I carry define my masculinity.
I wear clothes that fit me well, are stylish and comfortable. I like my apt to be clean an orderly, I have a sense of style. I like to smell good, and have a few scents I really like to wear. I like to have a variety of shoes to wear, but don't call me Imelda Marcos. The bag I carry is functional, it accommodates everything I need it to: the book I'm currently reading, my gym clothes, the water bottle, the coffee thermos, my iPod and headphones, etc. None of those things define who I am with regard to my masculinity, at least not to me.
Imagine my surprise then when I'm told in the locker room of the gym last night by some ass, clearly, that my bag was not masculine enough and I should get something else. The dumb schmuck didn't know what hit him, or who he was dealing with when I replied:
That's odd, because the same could be said about your shoes. At least I don't let objects define my masculinity, good luck to you though, since clearly you do.
His jaw dropped, and I made my exit...I should write a show...or a book! I love being sarcastic and witty and being able to think on my feet...I think that's the blessing of being an out gay man that doesn't really care what everyone else thinks.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Arrival Day
For a long time, Valentine's day hasn't really meant anything to me - whether I've been with someone or not. It's just another day. I'm a romantic by nature, I don't need a special day on the calendar to remind me to hold someone's hand and tell them I love them.
For 27 years though, Feb 15th has been a very special day in my family. It's the day we celebrate my sister entering our lives. She's my sister, and I regularly forget that she's adopted, but today always reminds me. Not because we think of her any differently because she's adopted, but because we celebrate how much we wanted her in our lives. My mom and dad really wanted a little girl. They got sorta close with me, way off base with my brother, and figured, why take a chance and adopted my sister.
My sister and I have always been really close, and she's taught me so much about inner strength and fortitude, and just having the courage to be yourself. I love her so much...so today it's about her! Happy Arrival Day Bean!
For 27 years though, Feb 15th has been a very special day in my family. It's the day we celebrate my sister entering our lives. She's my sister, and I regularly forget that she's adopted, but today always reminds me. Not because we think of her any differently because she's adopted, but because we celebrate how much we wanted her in our lives. My mom and dad really wanted a little girl. They got sorta close with me, way off base with my brother, and figured, why take a chance and adopted my sister.
My sister and I have always been really close, and she's taught me so much about inner strength and fortitude, and just having the courage to be yourself. I love her so much...so today it's about her! Happy Arrival Day Bean!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Hallmark Holidays...
So, today was Valentines Day - the highest and holiest of the hallmark holidays! It's completely over-rated. Single or with someone, I never really put too much stock in the importance of this hyped up holiday. It's really just another day, and do you need a special reason to say I Love You to someone? If you do, one day isn't going to help you!
Why is it that love is in the air for Valentine's Day and the other days seem forgotten? When I worked in higher education, I used to sponsor Anti-Valentine's Day parties - whether I was single or not. There are a ton of single people out there that just end up getting depressed at all the over hype this day has in store, is it any wonder there's some resentment there?
This year, I am single yet again, and my usual Valentine (my best friend) is across the pond, hopefully having a very good time with a boy - I wish him all the best! I cleaned, re-arranged furniture, went to the gym, ran a few errands, bought myself something nice, and have had a lazy Sunday lounging about watching tv and lots of gay movies. Would I rather have had someone's hand to hold, hell yeah - will that feeling be there tomorrow the same as it was the day before? Hell yes. I'm a romantic at heart - Valentine's Day does not change that!
So, happy Hallmark Holiday y'all! Besides, for me, tomorrow is the most important day - Arrival Day!
Why is it that love is in the air for Valentine's Day and the other days seem forgotten? When I worked in higher education, I used to sponsor Anti-Valentine's Day parties - whether I was single or not. There are a ton of single people out there that just end up getting depressed at all the over hype this day has in store, is it any wonder there's some resentment there?
This year, I am single yet again, and my usual Valentine (my best friend) is across the pond, hopefully having a very good time with a boy - I wish him all the best! I cleaned, re-arranged furniture, went to the gym, ran a few errands, bought myself something nice, and have had a lazy Sunday lounging about watching tv and lots of gay movies. Would I rather have had someone's hand to hold, hell yeah - will that feeling be there tomorrow the same as it was the day before? Hell yes. I'm a romantic at heart - Valentine's Day does not change that!
So, happy Hallmark Holiday y'all! Besides, for me, tomorrow is the most important day - Arrival Day!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
It's Not Mean if it's True
So, I live by this quote. I've taught it to others who are now bowing down to the alter of INMIIT! I know mean, I can be a bitch. I have seen and been mean at points in my life. Simply pointing out the truth is not mean, it's the truth. There's a difference. It's a huge difference. I'm not inherently mean, but when I tell the truth, sometimes it can be mistaken as mean.
Pointing out that someone's customer service skills are lacking, when indeed they are, is not mean, it's true. Telling the person they're stupid and slow is mean. Telling a waiter that he screwed up the order is not mean, it's true. Telling the waiter he's a fuck up is mean. See the difference. It can be a subtle difference, but it's there.
Just remember, it's not mean if it's true.
Pointing out that someone's customer service skills are lacking, when indeed they are, is not mean, it's true. Telling the person they're stupid and slow is mean. Telling a waiter that he screwed up the order is not mean, it's true. Telling the waiter he's a fuck up is mean. See the difference. It can be a subtle difference, but it's there.
Just remember, it's not mean if it's true.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Give it all away...
So, maybe I'm lonely. Maybe I'm not as much of a recovering romantic as I'd like to be and more of a hopeless one. Maybe it's my time of the month and the hormones are acting up. I don't know, but lately I'm just very emotional.
Dating in this town is tough, and I'm getting older, never a good mix. It's kind of lonely out there sometimes. I'm not saying I am lonely, just that it can be and is at times. It sunk in the other night when I took my best friend to a function as my date. Now, don't get me wrong, we have, over the years, been dates for each other at several different functions and we always enjoy ourselves. It's not that. It's not that I wasn't extremely happy to have him with me. It was more the thought that I brought my best friend and everyone else had a date.
Why don't I have dates? Why can't I find someone to get past date 3 with? Is it just this city? Is it me? I don't know, but I intend to take more time this year trying to find out...and at the same time, have more dates...
Dating in this town is tough, and I'm getting older, never a good mix. It's kind of lonely out there sometimes. I'm not saying I am lonely, just that it can be and is at times. It sunk in the other night when I took my best friend to a function as my date. Now, don't get me wrong, we have, over the years, been dates for each other at several different functions and we always enjoy ourselves. It's not that. It's not that I wasn't extremely happy to have him with me. It was more the thought that I brought my best friend and everyone else had a date.
Why don't I have dates? Why can't I find someone to get past date 3 with? Is it just this city? Is it me? I don't know, but I intend to take more time this year trying to find out...and at the same time, have more dates...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I...will learn to live before I die...
I fell in love with music at a young age. I have a wide array of music in my collection. There are showtunes (I'm a gay man, go figure), opera, pop, jazz, classical...you name it and I probably have at least a little in my collection.
I fell in love with Boyzone one of the first times that I heard the band. I fell in love with them even more when in 1999, one of the members, Stephen Gately, came out of the closet. Risky back then. He had an amazing voice, and an amazing smile.
I have followed them through the years, what was supposed to be their comeback, their CD's, the news, solo CDS...you name it. There's just something about them. I know, you'll probably argue that it's all just sugary pop. And, it is. I just like their sound, the way their voices blend, the harmony, the music they create.
I was saddened when Stephen passed away last year. It hit me kind of hard. He came out not long after I did. If he could do it, I could. In fact, I think he was one of the first celebrities that came out back then that was around my age. Maybe that's why I followed him closely. I don't know.
Anyway, cut to today. Boyzone have released the first single from their upcoming CD (due to drop in March) and it's the last track that Stephen recorded. The first words sung are in Stephen's voice. They are haunting: "I...will learn to live before I die. Will learn to love and learn to try, not to give it all away."
It's an amazingly beautiful track. I haven't been able to stop listening to it. I can't wait to be in the UK later this spring to pick up their new CD...just for this track, although I'm sure I will like the rest as well.
I can't embed the video, that's been disabled. But here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n8fxrejX78
I fell in love with Boyzone one of the first times that I heard the band. I fell in love with them even more when in 1999, one of the members, Stephen Gately, came out of the closet. Risky back then. He had an amazing voice, and an amazing smile.
I have followed them through the years, what was supposed to be their comeback, their CD's, the news, solo CDS...you name it. There's just something about them. I know, you'll probably argue that it's all just sugary pop. And, it is. I just like their sound, the way their voices blend, the harmony, the music they create.
I was saddened when Stephen passed away last year. It hit me kind of hard. He came out not long after I did. If he could do it, I could. In fact, I think he was one of the first celebrities that came out back then that was around my age. Maybe that's why I followed him closely. I don't know.
Anyway, cut to today. Boyzone have released the first single from their upcoming CD (due to drop in March) and it's the last track that Stephen recorded. The first words sung are in Stephen's voice. They are haunting: "I...will learn to live before I die. Will learn to love and learn to try, not to give it all away."
It's an amazingly beautiful track. I haven't been able to stop listening to it. I can't wait to be in the UK later this spring to pick up their new CD...just for this track, although I'm sure I will like the rest as well.
I can't embed the video, that's been disabled. But here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n8fxrejX78
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I'm a Bitch, I'm a lover...
I am a New York City Bitch. I learned it here. I honed my skills and timing here. I am not a bitch by nature. I am a kind, sweet person, but in NYC with all the stupidity and cluelessness that is present, my inner bitch comes out.
I am not a bitch in the sense that I will tear you to shreds for no reason what-so-ever. I won't chew you up and spit you out for wearing a bad outfit, or the wrong shoes and bag combination. If, on the other hand you stop at the top of the escalator, thus causing a back-up, for no apparent reason, don't expect me to keep my mouth closed. If you're the family of four that was walking in front of me earlier, all spread out and taking up the width of the sidewalk all while walking slower than an icicle melts in February, and you turn around with a look of disgust when I politely say excuse me, may I get by - did you honestly not expect me to say something back? I was polite when I asked to get by and YOU were taking up the whole sidewalk. There was no need for the dirty look. The same holds true for the man last night on the crowded subway home. I had been in my seat for three stops, comfortably, and only taking up the space I was supposed to. The seat between me and another rider was average sized. You were easily 4x's larger than the seat you tried to squeeze your fat ass into, thus squeezing me and the other nice rider out of our seats. You could have said thank you, instead you said you had wondered when we were going to move to let you sit, and then you acted flabbergasted when both she and I were like, excuse me - WE were there first and its not my fault your fat ass won't fit in one seat - maybe you should have walked the 2 stops/15 blocks and burned a few calories - you could definitely use the exercise!
So, you see - I'm not a bitch unless I'm provoked. I'm still labeled a bitch though. I am at the point where I embrace that. It's not so much bitchy as it is, I speak the truth - if you can't handle the truth - stay at home in your little fantasy world.
I am not a bitch in the sense that I will tear you to shreds for no reason what-so-ever. I won't chew you up and spit you out for wearing a bad outfit, or the wrong shoes and bag combination. If, on the other hand you stop at the top of the escalator, thus causing a back-up, for no apparent reason, don't expect me to keep my mouth closed. If you're the family of four that was walking in front of me earlier, all spread out and taking up the width of the sidewalk all while walking slower than an icicle melts in February, and you turn around with a look of disgust when I politely say excuse me, may I get by - did you honestly not expect me to say something back? I was polite when I asked to get by and YOU were taking up the whole sidewalk. There was no need for the dirty look. The same holds true for the man last night on the crowded subway home. I had been in my seat for three stops, comfortably, and only taking up the space I was supposed to. The seat between me and another rider was average sized. You were easily 4x's larger than the seat you tried to squeeze your fat ass into, thus squeezing me and the other nice rider out of our seats. You could have said thank you, instead you said you had wondered when we were going to move to let you sit, and then you acted flabbergasted when both she and I were like, excuse me - WE were there first and its not my fault your fat ass won't fit in one seat - maybe you should have walked the 2 stops/15 blocks and burned a few calories - you could definitely use the exercise!
So, you see - I'm not a bitch unless I'm provoked. I'm still labeled a bitch though. I am at the point where I embrace that. It's not so much bitchy as it is, I speak the truth - if you can't handle the truth - stay at home in your little fantasy world.
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