Earthquake...

The ground didn't shake, you didn't miss the press conference, there's just been a bit of figurative earthquake in my life recently and it's left exposed some walls that had apparently previously crumbled, but I didn't realize it. I guess it is akin to buying a house and not knowing that the foundation was crumbling. I feel exposed and vulnerable. I don't know which end is up and I don't know which way to get out. The worst part is not knowing what to think anymore. All the things I believed to be true are turning out to not be as truthful as previous thought. Perception has altered. The compass is spinning, searching for North.
I've spent the better part of the last three days trying to figure out which way is up and evaluating if that is indeed the direction I want to travel. I could, conceivably, just use the knowledge I have found and continue down the same path, prepared for the future. I could prop the foundation up and fix it, make it stronger. I could say fuck it and walk away. Which is the better decision? Which will make things easy? Comfortable? Livable?
I have never really talked about walking away from an abusive relationship and the turmoil that caused me and my life, but I did and I started anew, fresh new beginnings and a new "life," so to speak. It might be that time again.
Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away, to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed? That's about what I am feeling right now. I just don't know. I'm torn and conflicted. I feel like the world is still shaking below me and I don't have my footing yet. It might take me a while to find it again.