Owning It

I walk into every room and every situation as if the world revolves around me. And it does, after all it is my world. 

That will sound vain and pretentious to those that don't know me, and indeed, even to some that do. 

It is not meant as such. I've recently decided to embark on a new course in life. I'm trying to be a bit more Zen, a bit more aware. That seems counter to the above statement, no? 

I would argue not at all. I am sick of feeling like a spectator in my own life sometimes. Yes, things/events will happen as they will, but you can also contribute to the outcome.

Think about it. My life revolves around me. The decisions I make. The people I chose to interact with. The places I decide I want to go. The work (job/career/volunteer/hobby) I do. The music I decide to listen to, for even when the iPhone is on shuffle, I have chosen the music contained in my iTunes account. The entertainment I chose to participate in. These are all things I have control over and that influence and impact the world around me. Extrapolate further and the world revolves around me. 

Therefore, in my new Zen like approach to the world, and not letting the world happen to me, I am going to walk into any situation like the world revolves around me. 

Game Night

There are a few things that I have decided to do this year, blog more among them. I also decided that once a month I was going to host a game night. We started last night. It may have started small, but it was a group filled with debauchery. We made our way through Cards Against Humanity and found out just how sick and twisted we really are!! I had wanted to break them open since Christmas when I got them as a gift! Now I'll have to wait to get an expansion pack and have some more fun.

The amazing part about Cards Against Humanity is, you can play it over and over and over again and it will never be the same game. Add players, subtract some, get through some of the cards or all them. The combinations in your hand will never be the same every match, so you'll always get a different result - granted, none of the options will be Politically Correct. That's what makes it fun! 

If you really want to know who the most depraved player was, you'll have to be here. What happens at Cards Against Humanity, stays at Cards Against Humanity.

Resolutions...

It's come to that time of the year again. The time where we all make resolutions and vow to make this year better than the last. We all do it, every year. Does anything ever change? Do we have what it takes to follow through? Some do better than others I guess. I've done pretty well over the last the few years, for the most part. I have made some for this year as well, and, while I'm not ready to share them all just yet. I am going to share a few of them.

I am going to try and blog a bit more, I've been very neglectful of throwing my thoughts out there and  I want to at least try and blog once a week, we'll see how that goes. I've also decided that I need to start every day fresh, with a new chance to make a difference, a new chance to be the best that I can be. To leave the past behind me, learn from all that has happened to me and make the most of what's ahead of me. We are going to start with some positivity, 2014 is going to be great!

Happy Christmas 2013!!!

Destination Christmas in London

"Don't Save it All...for Christmas Day..."

Well, that's exactly what I've managed to do this year. I'm incredibly late at getting my Holiday letter out this year, with apologies. Happy Christmas though! I've learned a lot about packing this year and getting the most into the smallest bag possible!

the Tree at Trafalgar Square

2013 by the numbers has shaped up this way:

59,000 miles traveled

110 days on the road

39 years turned into 40

30 flights

one of the pretty trees at the Virgin ClubHouse in Heathrow

20 weeks on the road

10 cities

4 airlines

2 countries and 1 territory

1 hotel chain

the tree that greets you at Heathrow

I've been all over the map this year - and there's more to come for next year! Still tracking the exploits of Wicked and Billy Elliot and loving every minute (well, except when I stand in line at security at the airport) of it. NYC might be home, but I've been so many other places this year.

the Rock Plaza Christmas tree

The year started in Orlando and them it was off to London. A bit of time in Milwaukee (it was a conference) and then, back to London. After that it was down to New Orleans and back to London. An overnight in Dallas/Ft. Worth and then it was off to Manchester, UK for 5 weeks. Was quite nice to live in the UK for a few weeks, and see more of the country than London. I had a blast, and it was a bit tough to come home and adjust to life on this side of the pond again.

Christmas baubles at Covent Garden

I took a few weeks off from travel after that to get back into life and celebrate with the folks at Wicked for an amazing 10 years on Broadway! What a performance!

Hilton London Green Park decked out for Christmas

Fall wrapped up with a quick trip through Des Moines and then Chicago where I turned the big 4-0. Vegas after that for a day or two and meetings followed.

Christmas was in full bloom in San Juan, even with 90 degree days

I managed to take some time for myself this year and go on a bit of a tropical vacation and spent Thanksgiving on the beach in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It was just what the doctor ordered. 

my view from the resort's private beach in San Juan

After that, I was winging off to London again for the final trip of the year. I love London at Christmas time. The fairy lights, the feeling of Christmas. I landed at gate 36 in Heathrow...where Joanna's Virgin Atlantic flight departed during Love Actually. Was a great start to the week in London! Amazing! Saw the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - before the balcony/ceiling collapsed and finally got to eat at Jamie's Diner! Saw friends and made new ones and celebrated Christmas with Billy Elliot before I came home.

Had the Second Annual Ugly Christmas Jumper party where, despite all the ugliness, much fun was had by all and then headed upstate for Christmas day - a festival of paper and toys. Food and drink and Family.

Miles took in the Big Tree this year

Happy Christmas to all and many blessings for a Happy and Prosperous 2014! 

Mind the Gap

Hello boys and girls, I promise this is not another post about London or how I miss it or want to live there. It's really a testimony to a changed reality. I've thought about writing this for a while now and struggled with the why. I'm not trying to brag, more work through an issue in my head and writing helps me do just that. So, indulge me...or as my friend Anthony says, Thindulge me. 

A little while back, I went to buy new jeans because the ones I had were "shrinking" in the wash. I would have had to go up to a 34 waist jean and I was mortified about that. I didn't end up buying jeans that day, but set out on a journey to shrink myself. I already had a gym membership, but getting a trainer seemed like a good idea. Now, over the years I have had a few trainers. I workout and lift regularly and I get my cardio sessions in. Things dropped a little and got down to a 33 thanks to the help of 2 different trainers, one of whom I still see. I knew more could be done. I wanted more to drop off. I joke all the time that I fight my genes so I don't end up fighting my jeans, and that is a reality I face every day. 

About a year ago now, I met a trainer at Crunch. He was wearing those Vibram Five Finger shoes -  you know the ones that have all the toes on them that keep all the little piggies separate. They always intrigued me, but they also freak my out a little. There are a few guys at the gym that wear them, but it's always awkward to just start asking someone about their shoes. A trainer on the other hand...now there's someone you can stalk outside the locker room and ask strange questions about shoes. I had been running for a while and I wanted to minimize my packing footprint when I was on the road for work, and those shoes seemed like a great way to do just that. 

So...I stalked Tyler outside the locker room one day and started asking random questions about his shoes. I was convinced to buy a pair and Tyler offered me a session to get used to them. It began there. I got my first pair, I did a session with him at the gym. I started running in them. I hurt myself. I took it easy for a while and came back to them. I hired Tyler on my own to work with me. To re-train my body, muscles, joints and nerves to do what I want them to do. I did bodyweight exercises, I did sprints, I ran up and down stairs, I got up and ran in Central Park once a week with my Tyler. I got stronger and faster. I ran with Tyler - along and in the park. I ran with dogs. I was outside training in the wind, the cold and the sunshine. I took my barefoot shoes with me to London and wore them while I ran the parks there - I got stared at (apparently they are not big over there at all). I kept going. I re-trained my body and my mind. I became an athlete - according to Tyler, and I started to feel like one. I became a runner.

At the beginning of 2012 I also started to really look at my food intake. I restricted my calories to 1600 a day since I wanted to be 160lbs. I kept a food journal, with my exercise journal and kept strict track of how many calories I consumed, how many grams of Fat, Protein and Carbs were in each meal or snack. I tracked every little morsel. This went on for 9 months and I lost not one single pound. I still hovered around 170. Actually, I lie. I went on vacation and stopped keeping track of everything and I lost 2 pounds, but quickly put them back on when I started tracking everything again.

I was literally crying about this to Tyler one morning and we agreed that this was no way to live. I would go on work trips or out to dinner and it was hard to figure out from the portion how many calories were in this meal or what the Fat, Protein and Carb counts were. It was exasperating! It was no way to live.  Tyler came up with this amazing eating plan for me. I would no longer be counting calories. I wouldn't be caring about how much Fat, Protein or Carbs were in each meal. I had foods I could eat, I had foods I should avoid and I had foods that I was no longer going to eat. I thought it was going to be difficult, but it's remarkably easy. I have gone pseudo-Paleo and Gluten Free. I try and eat Vegetarian two days a week. I try and keep my Glycemic Index low. It's actually really easy. I know what I can and can't eat. I know I get a 20% cheat ratio for the week (or weak moments). I know that if I cheat, it's not the end of the world. What has the result been? On 1 September 2012 I weighed in at 172lbs and as of today I weigh 159. I haven't been under 160 in years! It's the easiest thing I've done! I was down to 157 at one point, but have gone up and down those 2 pounds. I haven't broken over 160 since I went below it, so I'm a very happy camper!

A few weeks ago, I lost Tyler. I knew that it was going to happen. His wife finished grad school and they moved back to sunny California. I prepared myself for it, but I wasn't prepared for the reaction that I would have. I feel like I've lost a piece of myself. I feel like I'm a ship without a rudder right now. I feel kind of directionless. I wasn't prepared for that. I had no idea that a once a week session with a trainer/coach would leave me feeling like this,. I had gained a friend in this process and now I am missing him. I've had trainers before, and still have one for my strength training. No trainer has touched me like Tyler has. I don't know why, but I know he helped me get back a part of my life I didn't even realize was missing. 

My current goal is to get out two mornings a week and run, if it's not too bitterly cold (my asthma is affected too severely then). I'll continue to lift three days a week - once with my trainer. I'm hoping my motivation will rise again. I've lost 13 pounds since the beginning of September, and my tummy is almost flat. I need to keep going. I need to find a way out of the funk...but I also have to Mind the Gap in all of my clothes...see, it all comes back around. I bought new jeans this past weekend and I was down 3 sizes from where my exasperation began. It's been so easy and uncomplicated. I don't even really think about it anymore. My new goal is to hit 155 - I know I can do it and that I will. As much as I miss Tyler, I know that he wouldn't want me to stop and I have no intention of it. I'm not giving up, I just have a hurdle to get over. My runs in the park have been a bit lonely, but I know that Tyler's running with me every time my foot hits the ground and I wouldn't have it any other way. I had no clue that a conversation about shoes would have this much of an impact on my life! 

Happy Christmas!!

"Me? I'll be just fine and dandy, Lord, it's like a Hard Candy Christmas..."

I'm a little late getting this year's Holiday letter posted. You'd think since I took it virtual a few years ago, and didn't actually type and mail them, it would be a much easier process. I procrastinated - this year I actually got my cards out before I even sat down to do this letter. It happens. I've had an amazing year and I cannot believe that 2012 is almost over. I have traveled for work and met up with friends along the way - lots of them! I've traveled to far off places and magical lands.

The year started on a somber note as Billy Elliot on Broadway played it's final performance on 8 January. I was sad to see the run end here, but it was an amazing show to be a part of. It lives on in other places and my time with Billy is not done yet.

what can I say, the trees in the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse are always so gorgeous

I started the year's travel with a trip in February to Phoenix, AZ. I checked in on Elphaba and Glinda (that's Glinda, the GA is silent) and got to see my cousin Doug and his family - it had been so long since I had seen them - the kids are so big now!

Onto Long Beach, CA for a conference and presentation in March and spending time with Eric. Took a long weekend after the conference and spent some time in Los Angeles with JD and Eric since I had not been able to see them recently. I apparently got the bestest presents ever for the nephews when I got them Lucha Libre masks as souvenirs. For so early in the year, that was a lot of pressure.

April took me off to London. I know you're asking - aren't I tired of going to London all the time by now? I'm not. I LOVE it there. I've made some great friends there and always have something to do with my time - other than shopping, and boys, and work. I still have tons to see and do there. I was able to see Billy learn to dance Express himself and checked in our tattooed up Fiyero - that was a great casting choice!

Miles wrapped himself up with a bow for Christmas

May saw me down in Raleigh-Durham again to check in Glinda's bubble and Elphaba's broom.. I got to see Chris and Kyle again and visit a place I'd spent some time in recently. Was nice to be there and in and out, not for an extended stay.

Was back across the pond in June for a quick check in before the Olympics took over and nobody wanted any part of good old London town. I got to see my friends and some of the jubilation for the Queen's Jubilee and the excitement building up for the games. I'm glad I got well out before they started.

July was relatively quiet - I took a vacation. Christopher and I spent a week in the city by the Bay. We stayed in Union Square - in the heart of everything. We went shopping, explored all the sights, sounds and food, saw the Castro during the day and at night, went shopping, wandered around Alcatraz (that island is so bloody cold!!!) and, oh, did I mention shopping? We got to spend some time with Eric as well, and that was a nicely timed coincidence.

August meant a long weekend up in the hills and solitude of Vermont with the boys. Mike, Matt, Richie, Brian, Chris and I went up for some shopping (go figure - and are you sensing the theme?), relax and just get away from it all! Thanks for the use of the cabin Grams...totally put me in a different mood and perspective when I returned!

A little disco ball and some Christmas baubles at the Apple Garden in Covent Garden

October took me to Baltimore, MD where I again checked in on the Witches of Wicked, spent some time wandering around the Bay and got to see my friend Rich for a bit of time. Was nice to see him again and spend even a few hours with him. I always love connecting with friends when I'm on the road, makes the travel all worth while! After Baltimore, I was home for a bit and then was off to Las Vegas, NV. I could tell you what happened there, but there's a strict code I had to sign, and I really don't need that kind of trouble in my life!

November took me off to Seattle, WA and I was able to work and then also see Helen and Doug and meet their kids. We were trying not to count at dinner how long we'd been out of college, because it simply cannot be that long. We must have graduated at 12 or something. That's two years in a row that I've been able to catch up with Doug and Helen when traveling, so I'm wondering where the next city will find us connecting!

At the end of November I flew off to jolly old England for the last trip of the year. I was able to be there for all of the Fairy lights again. I was actually there for 3 weeks. Lots to do...lots to do. It was a really long trip, but such a worthwhile one. I was able to get so much done with both shows there - see both Billy sing and dance and the witches of Oz discover their power of friendship. (I can do choreography folks). I was able to see my friend Colm and spend some time with him, see the Spice Girls musical, Viva Forever, and even the wizarding world of Harry Potter after my friend Alex joined me in London.

Hogwart's Tree

No matter where or how far I traveled this year, a stuffed Chistery monkey flew with me. He was in my carry on bag, and popped out for photo ops where-ever he could. Connor, Logan and Miles might not have Flat Stanley - but that doesn't mean that Uncle Greg can't give them places all over the world to show off!

If I get to enjoy the ClubHouse, so does Chistery

I have learned to run barefoot this year, thus improving my time, my running, my stamina and my overall athletic ability. I have been running around in little 5 toed shoes all year (and getting stared at quite at bit in them in London, might I just add). They freak me out too, but the philosophy of barefoot running is actually quite amazing, and I discovered muscles I didn't know I had. I had an amazing running coach who worked with me and took me from an amateur to a competitor without injury (if you know how much of a clutz I can be, that is saying something). I have also been hard at work at my overall fitness this year, in addition to the barefoot running. I have managed to drop about 15lbs since the beginning of September and am really excited about that. There's a bit more to go, but the road is paved and the path is clear!

My nephews came back down to the city after a 3 (or so) year hiatus to see the giant tree in Rockefeller Center and the Skating Rink and we spent a nice, albeit cold, afternoon wandering around the city and watching Connor and Logan in awe of all the stuff they could see. I don't think they paid attention to anything in front of them the whole afternoon - there was always something else to see!

Connor and Logan with Uncle Greg at the giant tree

I'm back where I grew up for Christmas. I'm not sure if the place has changed, but I have over all the years. Santa is alive and well again and will be visiting the house any hour now to leave lots of toys and goodies for the kids. I can't wait to see the looks of amazement on their faces as they see all of the goodies in front of them...it's what Christmas is all about - the wonderment and happiness of a child!

Happy Christmas to one and all and all the best for a truly amazing New Year!

"This Winter's Night, icicle lights will trim the tree...this winter's night..."

There's nowt so Queer As Folk

It's an odd northern English saying, that basically translates to people are strange. It was co-opted for the British series Queer as Folk and then the American remake. There's been an issue with my cable the last few days, and I haven't had cable or internet since returning from San Fran. It's working now thanks to the tech replacing some part on the connector outside my apt, who knew?

Anyway, the past few days have seen me watching the original British series in it's entirety and then the first series of the American re-boot. I had never watched all of the British original before and was really impressed. There were aspects that I enjoyed more than the American version. It definitely felt more rushed though.

What the hell am I going on about you're probably wondering right now. Well, in watching the series originally years ago I always wondered which of the boys I most identified with. I knew my answer back then, Michael. Lately though, I don't know if that's true.

Sometimes I'm Justin - young and naive and willing to believe things to be true that clearly are not. I'm not Justin often, the jaded, cynical New Yorker won't let me be...but sometimes.

Sometimes I'm Emmett - my flame burns bright and if you're in the path, it will either show you the light or burn you...so beware.

Sometimes I'm Debbie - colourful and full of advice, whether you want it or not.

Sometimes I'm Vic - too old for this shit and all the games that get played.

Sometimes I'm Ted - anal retentive and unwilling to let go and have fun, unwilling to believe someone might be interested in me because that's not usually the case.

Sometimes I'm Michael - the faithful sidekick, always lurking in the shadows, perhaps afraid of the spotlight. Wanting a relationship, but not thinking he is deserving of one.

Sometimes I'm Brian - the narcissistic playboy. Sleeping with any hot boy in his path, unafraid to tell the truth, even if it hurts (although needing to be weary of the delivery of such barbs) and un-apologetic. Always in the spotlight and the center of attention. The way it should be. Never wanting to be tied down.

I used to think I was just Michael...with maybe a little Justin and maybe a little Ted...now I see that I am a combination of all of them...and Brian, believe it or not is the more dominant personality, especially when I travel and go out and about on my own. I've grown since the series first aired. I've matured. Other parts of my personality have developed. I'm not one character anymore, I'm all of them...the good and the bad. I've become more self-confident, and surprisingly, still need to work on being more like Brian in that regard. I am a good catch...now others need to see it. I don't need to show them, they need to see it, I know it's true. While, unlike Brian, I want to settle down and have a relationship, I need be more like him and put myself out there to get one or it will never happen...

there's nowt so queer as folk...and the things we can learn from them...