Mind the Gap

Hello boys and girls, I promise this is not another post about London or how I miss it or want to live there. It's really a testimony to a changed reality. I've thought about writing this for a while now and struggled with the why. I'm not trying to brag, more work through an issue in my head and writing helps me do just that. So, indulge me...or as my friend Anthony says, Thindulge me. 

A little while back, I went to buy new jeans because the ones I had were "shrinking" in the wash. I would have had to go up to a 34 waist jean and I was mortified about that. I didn't end up buying jeans that day, but set out on a journey to shrink myself. I already had a gym membership, but getting a trainer seemed like a good idea. Now, over the years I have had a few trainers. I workout and lift regularly and I get my cardio sessions in. Things dropped a little and got down to a 33 thanks to the help of 2 different trainers, one of whom I still see. I knew more could be done. I wanted more to drop off. I joke all the time that I fight my genes so I don't end up fighting my jeans, and that is a reality I face every day. 

About a year ago now, I met a trainer at Crunch. He was wearing those Vibram Five Finger shoes -  you know the ones that have all the toes on them that keep all the little piggies separate. They always intrigued me, but they also freak my out a little. There are a few guys at the gym that wear them, but it's always awkward to just start asking someone about their shoes. A trainer on the other hand...now there's someone you can stalk outside the locker room and ask strange questions about shoes. I had been running for a while and I wanted to minimize my packing footprint when I was on the road for work, and those shoes seemed like a great way to do just that. 

So...I stalked Tyler outside the locker room one day and started asking random questions about his shoes. I was convinced to buy a pair and Tyler offered me a session to get used to them. It began there. I got my first pair, I did a session with him at the gym. I started running in them. I hurt myself. I took it easy for a while and came back to them. I hired Tyler on my own to work with me. To re-train my body, muscles, joints and nerves to do what I want them to do. I did bodyweight exercises, I did sprints, I ran up and down stairs, I got up and ran in Central Park once a week with my Tyler. I got stronger and faster. I ran with Tyler - along and in the park. I ran with dogs. I was outside training in the wind, the cold and the sunshine. I took my barefoot shoes with me to London and wore them while I ran the parks there - I got stared at (apparently they are not big over there at all). I kept going. I re-trained my body and my mind. I became an athlete - according to Tyler, and I started to feel like one. I became a runner.

At the beginning of 2012 I also started to really look at my food intake. I restricted my calories to 1600 a day since I wanted to be 160lbs. I kept a food journal, with my exercise journal and kept strict track of how many calories I consumed, how many grams of Fat, Protein and Carbs were in each meal or snack. I tracked every little morsel. This went on for 9 months and I lost not one single pound. I still hovered around 170. Actually, I lie. I went on vacation and stopped keeping track of everything and I lost 2 pounds, but quickly put them back on when I started tracking everything again.

I was literally crying about this to Tyler one morning and we agreed that this was no way to live. I would go on work trips or out to dinner and it was hard to figure out from the portion how many calories were in this meal or what the Fat, Protein and Carb counts were. It was exasperating! It was no way to live.  Tyler came up with this amazing eating plan for me. I would no longer be counting calories. I wouldn't be caring about how much Fat, Protein or Carbs were in each meal. I had foods I could eat, I had foods I should avoid and I had foods that I was no longer going to eat. I thought it was going to be difficult, but it's remarkably easy. I have gone pseudo-Paleo and Gluten Free. I try and eat Vegetarian two days a week. I try and keep my Glycemic Index low. It's actually really easy. I know what I can and can't eat. I know I get a 20% cheat ratio for the week (or weak moments). I know that if I cheat, it's not the end of the world. What has the result been? On 1 September 2012 I weighed in at 172lbs and as of today I weigh 159. I haven't been under 160 in years! It's the easiest thing I've done! I was down to 157 at one point, but have gone up and down those 2 pounds. I haven't broken over 160 since I went below it, so I'm a very happy camper!

A few weeks ago, I lost Tyler. I knew that it was going to happen. His wife finished grad school and they moved back to sunny California. I prepared myself for it, but I wasn't prepared for the reaction that I would have. I feel like I've lost a piece of myself. I feel like I'm a ship without a rudder right now. I feel kind of directionless. I wasn't prepared for that. I had no idea that a once a week session with a trainer/coach would leave me feeling like this,. I had gained a friend in this process and now I am missing him. I've had trainers before, and still have one for my strength training. No trainer has touched me like Tyler has. I don't know why, but I know he helped me get back a part of my life I didn't even realize was missing. 

My current goal is to get out two mornings a week and run, if it's not too bitterly cold (my asthma is affected too severely then). I'll continue to lift three days a week - once with my trainer. I'm hoping my motivation will rise again. I've lost 13 pounds since the beginning of September, and my tummy is almost flat. I need to keep going. I need to find a way out of the funk...but I also have to Mind the Gap in all of my clothes...see, it all comes back around. I bought new jeans this past weekend and I was down 3 sizes from where my exasperation began. It's been so easy and uncomplicated. I don't even really think about it anymore. My new goal is to hit 155 - I know I can do it and that I will. As much as I miss Tyler, I know that he wouldn't want me to stop and I have no intention of it. I'm not giving up, I just have a hurdle to get over. My runs in the park have been a bit lonely, but I know that Tyler's running with me every time my foot hits the ground and I wouldn't have it any other way. I had no clue that a conversation about shoes would have this much of an impact on my life!