I'm a Bitch, I'm a lover...

I am a New York City Bitch. I learned it here. I honed my skills and timing here. I am not a bitch by nature. I am a kind, sweet person, but in NYC with all the stupidity and cluelessness that is present, my inner bitch comes out.

I am not a bitch in the sense that I will tear you to shreds for no reason what-so-ever. I won't chew you up and spit you out for wearing a bad outfit, or the wrong shoes and bag combination. If, on the other hand you stop at the top of the escalator, thus causing a back-up, for no apparent reason, don't expect me to keep my mouth closed. If you're the family of four that was walking in front of me earlier, all spread out and taking up the width of the sidewalk all while walking slower than an icicle melts in February, and you turn around with a look of disgust when I politely say excuse me, may I get by - did you honestly not expect me to say something back? I was polite when I asked to get by and YOU were taking up the whole sidewalk. There was no need for the dirty look. The same holds true for the man last night on the crowded subway home. I had been in my seat for three stops, comfortably, and only taking up the space I was supposed to. The seat between me and another rider was average sized. You were easily 4x's larger than the seat you tried to squeeze your fat ass into, thus squeezing me and the other nice rider out of our seats. You could have said thank you, instead you said you had wondered when we were going to move to let you sit, and then you acted flabbergasted when both she and I were like, excuse me - WE were there first and its not my fault your fat ass won't fit in one seat - maybe you should have walked the 2 stops/15 blocks and burned a few calories - you could definitely use the exercise!

So, you see - I'm not a bitch unless I'm provoked. I'm still labeled a bitch though. I am at the point where I embrace that. It's not so much bitchy as it is, I speak the truth - if you can't handle the truth - stay at home in your little fantasy world.