A few times lately I've been asked why I'm single. Picky, I guess? I expect more than a quickie and dinner? I want someone to stick around and hold my hand? I just haven't found the right guy yet?
The real answer is not any of those things or by any means that simple. I am picky, and I do expect those things and I haven't found Mr Right yet. But it is infinitely more than any or all of those things. I am. a complicated mess. The right person has to crack that and get inside. Very few people ever do - besties not withstanding.
I am a hopeless romantic and I want someone who believes in romantic gestures - BIG or small. Love stories on the screen and the pages have coloured my perspective. Every new love song written renews my hope HE is out there. It would be nice to get a random text/tweet/bb messenger (pick your favorite new technology here) in the middle of the day just so he could tell me he's thinking of me. Holding my hand is BIG! I mean BIG - I love nothing more than wandering around the city and feeling our hands inter-twined, not knowing where his ends and mine begins.
I am over the hill, at least in gay years. 30 was years ago. I am not out of shape and pot-bellied, but I am not the chelsea clone who doesn't eat and spends hour upon hour at the gym (do they work?). I am in better shape now than I was at 30 - so take that 20 somethings! And, because I did it for me, and not to land a man - it will stick with me and I won't let myself go to pot after I'm in a relationship.
I am GAY. I don't mean that in the sense that I wear a big rainbow cape and spandex suit as this years new gay superhero, but I gave up caring who knew a long time ago. I am not one who has to label people masculine or feminine - and too much of my culture cares about those labels these days. I go to sports bars and drag bars. I can try and be butch, but I also can queen out - there's a list - I will forward it to you in advance, if you're applying for the position.
The real answer is not any of those things or by any means that simple. I am picky, and I do expect those things and I haven't found Mr Right yet. But it is infinitely more than any or all of those things. I am. a complicated mess. The right person has to crack that and get inside. Very few people ever do - besties not withstanding.
I am a hopeless romantic and I want someone who believes in romantic gestures - BIG or small. Love stories on the screen and the pages have coloured my perspective. Every new love song written renews my hope HE is out there. It would be nice to get a random text/tweet/bb messenger (pick your favorite new technology here) in the middle of the day just so he could tell me he's thinking of me. Holding my hand is BIG! I mean BIG - I love nothing more than wandering around the city and feeling our hands inter-twined, not knowing where his ends and mine begins.
I am over the hill, at least in gay years. 30 was years ago. I am not out of shape and pot-bellied, but I am not the chelsea clone who doesn't eat and spends hour upon hour at the gym (do they work?). I am in better shape now than I was at 30 - so take that 20 somethings! And, because I did it for me, and not to land a man - it will stick with me and I won't let myself go to pot after I'm in a relationship.
I am GAY. I don't mean that in the sense that I wear a big rainbow cape and spandex suit as this years new gay superhero, but I gave up caring who knew a long time ago. I am not one who has to label people masculine or feminine - and too much of my culture cares about those labels these days. I go to sports bars and drag bars. I can try and be butch, but I also can queen out - there's a list - I will forward it to you in advance, if you're applying for the position.
I guess the really simple answer to the question is, I haven't found someone that is boyfriend material. I don't want to really be single forever, and I don't want to rush into any relationship. I want someone who is emotionally available, who is interested in being in a relationship with ME, not just be in a relationship. Someone who can be my best friend and romantic and fun and can hold up his end of the conversation. Someone who is Prince Charming and a little Malificent too. Someone I can share it all with and won't run away or close off. Someone I don't have to scale walls to get to and who's got matching baggage to mine - none of us are without baggage, so I'm being realistic. Too much to ask for? Maybe so...
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