am I a bad person if...

I want to protect my heart? if I don't know if I can do this? if I care about him so much that I don't want to lose him, but don't want my heart trod upon either? if I'm thinking these thoughts? I just want him to call me...to see him and hold him again...and for US to be okay...but am I bad because I'm worried about my heart in all of this with all that he's going through?