When someone offers you a sincere apology - do you
forgive and forget? Do you forgive and move on? Do you forgive and continue to
hold the grudge?
A bit of self disclosure here - I'm a scorpio, and like
many scorpio's I can hold a grudge with the best of them. And as Bette Midler
says in Beaches "My memory is long, its very, very long..."
I've been doing some work on myself - a lot over the past
few years - and one of the things I'm working on is letting go. Its not as easy
as it sounds. I'm an emotional hoarder. Every little betrayal, stab in the
back., lie, hurt and abuse is stored in my brain and I can play them over and
over again.
In an effort to be a better person though, as some of
them come up, I've processed them - thought about how I felt, what put me in
that position, what I could have done differently and then dragged them to the
trash bin of my mind - in hopes of forgetting them and no longer trying mend a
past I cannot change.
Sometimes its a successful effort - a few times, I have
to process again. What has all of this brought up for me though? My ability to
forgive, but not always forget. I'm trying to get better at the forgetting part
- and clearly we aren't talking about serious issues here - like ruined my life
or anything like that. Much smaller slights in the grand scheme of things. I've
been working harder on the forgive and forget concept - there is a reason you (collectively)
are in my life and why I want to keep you in my life - so if I haven't walked
away over this incident - why am I holding a grudge or forgiving and moving on
when I should be forgiving and forgetting?
I'm getting there - I wish others would too - the world -
or at least my part of it, would be a much better place!
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