Happy Christmas!!

"Me? I'll be just fine and dandy, Lord, it's like a Hard Candy Christmas..."

I'm a little late getting this year's Holiday letter posted. You'd think since I took it virtual a few years ago, and didn't actually type and mail them, it would be a much easier process. I procrastinated - this year I actually got my cards out before I even sat down to do this letter. It happens. I've had an amazing year and I cannot believe that 2012 is almost over. I have traveled for work and met up with friends along the way - lots of them! I've traveled to far off places and magical lands.

The year started on a somber note as Billy Elliot on Broadway played it's final performance on 8 January. I was sad to see the run end here, but it was an amazing show to be a part of. It lives on in other places and my time with Billy is not done yet.

what can I say, the trees in the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse are always so gorgeous

I started the year's travel with a trip in February to Phoenix, AZ. I checked in on Elphaba and Glinda (that's Glinda, the GA is silent) and got to see my cousin Doug and his family - it had been so long since I had seen them - the kids are so big now!

Onto Long Beach, CA for a conference and presentation in March and spending time with Eric. Took a long weekend after the conference and spent some time in Los Angeles with JD and Eric since I had not been able to see them recently. I apparently got the bestest presents ever for the nephews when I got them Lucha Libre masks as souvenirs. For so early in the year, that was a lot of pressure.

April took me off to London. I know you're asking - aren't I tired of going to London all the time by now? I'm not. I LOVE it there. I've made some great friends there and always have something to do with my time - other than shopping, and boys, and work. I still have tons to see and do there. I was able to see Billy learn to dance Express himself and checked in our tattooed up Fiyero - that was a great casting choice!

Miles wrapped himself up with a bow for Christmas

May saw me down in Raleigh-Durham again to check in Glinda's bubble and Elphaba's broom.. I got to see Chris and Kyle again and visit a place I'd spent some time in recently. Was nice to be there and in and out, not for an extended stay.

Was back across the pond in June for a quick check in before the Olympics took over and nobody wanted any part of good old London town. I got to see my friends and some of the jubilation for the Queen's Jubilee and the excitement building up for the games. I'm glad I got well out before they started.

July was relatively quiet - I took a vacation. Christopher and I spent a week in the city by the Bay. We stayed in Union Square - in the heart of everything. We went shopping, explored all the sights, sounds and food, saw the Castro during the day and at night, went shopping, wandered around Alcatraz (that island is so bloody cold!!!) and, oh, did I mention shopping? We got to spend some time with Eric as well, and that was a nicely timed coincidence.

August meant a long weekend up in the hills and solitude of Vermont with the boys. Mike, Matt, Richie, Brian, Chris and I went up for some shopping (go figure - and are you sensing the theme?), relax and just get away from it all! Thanks for the use of the cabin Grams...totally put me in a different mood and perspective when I returned!

A little disco ball and some Christmas baubles at the Apple Garden in Covent Garden

October took me to Baltimore, MD where I again checked in on the Witches of Wicked, spent some time wandering around the Bay and got to see my friend Rich for a bit of time. Was nice to see him again and spend even a few hours with him. I always love connecting with friends when I'm on the road, makes the travel all worth while! After Baltimore, I was home for a bit and then was off to Las Vegas, NV. I could tell you what happened there, but there's a strict code I had to sign, and I really don't need that kind of trouble in my life!

November took me off to Seattle, WA and I was able to work and then also see Helen and Doug and meet their kids. We were trying not to count at dinner how long we'd been out of college, because it simply cannot be that long. We must have graduated at 12 or something. That's two years in a row that I've been able to catch up with Doug and Helen when traveling, so I'm wondering where the next city will find us connecting!

At the end of November I flew off to jolly old England for the last trip of the year. I was able to be there for all of the Fairy lights again. I was actually there for 3 weeks. Lots to do...lots to do. It was a really long trip, but such a worthwhile one. I was able to get so much done with both shows there - see both Billy sing and dance and the witches of Oz discover their power of friendship. (I can do choreography folks). I was able to see my friend Colm and spend some time with him, see the Spice Girls musical, Viva Forever, and even the wizarding world of Harry Potter after my friend Alex joined me in London.

Hogwart's Tree

No matter where or how far I traveled this year, a stuffed Chistery monkey flew with me. He was in my carry on bag, and popped out for photo ops where-ever he could. Connor, Logan and Miles might not have Flat Stanley - but that doesn't mean that Uncle Greg can't give them places all over the world to show off!

If I get to enjoy the ClubHouse, so does Chistery

I have learned to run barefoot this year, thus improving my time, my running, my stamina and my overall athletic ability. I have been running around in little 5 toed shoes all year (and getting stared at quite at bit in them in London, might I just add). They freak me out too, but the philosophy of barefoot running is actually quite amazing, and I discovered muscles I didn't know I had. I had an amazing running coach who worked with me and took me from an amateur to a competitor without injury (if you know how much of a clutz I can be, that is saying something). I have also been hard at work at my overall fitness this year, in addition to the barefoot running. I have managed to drop about 15lbs since the beginning of September and am really excited about that. There's a bit more to go, but the road is paved and the path is clear!

My nephews came back down to the city after a 3 (or so) year hiatus to see the giant tree in Rockefeller Center and the Skating Rink and we spent a nice, albeit cold, afternoon wandering around the city and watching Connor and Logan in awe of all the stuff they could see. I don't think they paid attention to anything in front of them the whole afternoon - there was always something else to see!

Connor and Logan with Uncle Greg at the giant tree

I'm back where I grew up for Christmas. I'm not sure if the place has changed, but I have over all the years. Santa is alive and well again and will be visiting the house any hour now to leave lots of toys and goodies for the kids. I can't wait to see the looks of amazement on their faces as they see all of the goodies in front of them...it's what Christmas is all about - the wonderment and happiness of a child!

Happy Christmas to one and all and all the best for a truly amazing New Year!

"This Winter's Night, icicle lights will trim the tree...this winter's night..."

There's nowt so Queer As Folk

It's an odd northern English saying, that basically translates to people are strange. It was co-opted for the British series Queer as Folk and then the American remake. There's been an issue with my cable the last few days, and I haven't had cable or internet since returning from San Fran. It's working now thanks to the tech replacing some part on the connector outside my apt, who knew?

Anyway, the past few days have seen me watching the original British series in it's entirety and then the first series of the American re-boot. I had never watched all of the British original before and was really impressed. There were aspects that I enjoyed more than the American version. It definitely felt more rushed though.

What the hell am I going on about you're probably wondering right now. Well, in watching the series originally years ago I always wondered which of the boys I most identified with. I knew my answer back then, Michael. Lately though, I don't know if that's true.

Sometimes I'm Justin - young and naive and willing to believe things to be true that clearly are not. I'm not Justin often, the jaded, cynical New Yorker won't let me be...but sometimes.

Sometimes I'm Emmett - my flame burns bright and if you're in the path, it will either show you the light or burn you...so beware.

Sometimes I'm Debbie - colourful and full of advice, whether you want it or not.

Sometimes I'm Vic - too old for this shit and all the games that get played.

Sometimes I'm Ted - anal retentive and unwilling to let go and have fun, unwilling to believe someone might be interested in me because that's not usually the case.

Sometimes I'm Michael - the faithful sidekick, always lurking in the shadows, perhaps afraid of the spotlight. Wanting a relationship, but not thinking he is deserving of one.

Sometimes I'm Brian - the narcissistic playboy. Sleeping with any hot boy in his path, unafraid to tell the truth, even if it hurts (although needing to be weary of the delivery of such barbs) and un-apologetic. Always in the spotlight and the center of attention. The way it should be. Never wanting to be tied down.

I used to think I was just Michael...with maybe a little Justin and maybe a little Ted...now I see that I am a combination of all of them...and Brian, believe it or not is the more dominant personality, especially when I travel and go out and about on my own. I've grown since the series first aired. I've matured. Other parts of my personality have developed. I'm not one character anymore, I'm all of them...the good and the bad. I've become more self-confident, and surprisingly, still need to work on being more like Brian in that regard. I am a good catch...now others need to see it. I don't need to show them, they need to see it, I know it's true. While, unlike Brian, I want to settle down and have a relationship, I need be more like him and put myself out there to get one or it will never happen...

there's nowt so queer as folk...and the things we can learn from them...

Playing Golf...

No, I don't play. I've never had the interest or desire to learn or want to play. There's nothing wrong with the sport, it's just that if I want to do something to decompress, for me, that's not walking around in spikes chasing a little ball. I've become a huge fan of the new TV show The Newsroom. I didn't want to like it. I didn't want a show to have to DVR and follow. I liked it, despite not wanting to. Anyway, on a recent episode Jane Fonda's character tells a joke about Jesus and Moses playing golf, the punchline of which is "Look, you wanna play golf, or you wanna fuck around?"

I loved the line at the time I first heard it and the more and more I've tossed it around my head the more I've grown to realize that it's a very defining line. I'm at a point right now that I have the hugest of crushes on someone. I have for a while. He's caught me staring (and not broken eye contact by the way). He's mentioned me to a mutual friend, my running coach, who insists that he has definitely noticed me. He's a trainer at the gym. I get so intimidated - I'm not that guy. I'm not the gym bunny...I go, I work out and I go where I need to next. I don't get that kind of attention, and that's okay with me, so when I do, I don't know what to do.

This kind of crush hasn't happened to me in the longest of times. I don't know how to react to it. I get all tongue tied, my heart races, I get sweaty when he gets near. I've only ever managed to say hello and thanks to him. I need to say more. I need to buck up and not be a 5th grade school girl. Do I wanna play golf or do I wanna fuck around? Well, I'm sick of fucking around...so I guess I need to step up and play golf!

Two Sides to Every Coin

okay, first of all it's been way too long since I've just got the thoughts out. Way too long. I've been on the road again, and planned a vacation for later this month (I had to look up what vacation meant too, don't worry). It's not an excuse, one of my goals for this year was to be more active on here. I'm dropping this line now...if you are at all under the impression that I am virginal and pure, stop reading now and go here.

If you're still reading, you are not under the impression that I am virginal. Good. I'm not. When I'm on the road for work, I have no problems going out to the bar, meeting new people and hooking up. No problems. None. My track record is quite good, well above average, in some places better than others. When it comes to putting myself out there to date, I tend to become shy and introverted. I don't know why and I've been trying to figure it out.

I think it's because when I am interested in someone, I want to know them better, it's not all about the sex. When it's just a hook up, I know it's just all about the sex. I don't care about just the sex. Wait, that sounds wrong. I mean, I like sex, I'm a gay guy. I just don't need to care about the sex. That's a huge step from where I was about 13 years ago, where the two were far more intertwined. That's the crux of my problem I think. When I approach the situation as just sex/a hookup/casual it's easy, I'm confident. It's sex. I know what I'm doing and how much fun it can and will be. When I want more than just sex, there's more riding on the outcome and I become shy and introverted. (I know, some of you don't know that side of me so you're a bit confused...sorry).

It's harder to say hi to someone I am interested in with the potential for more than sex than it would be if I knew it were just sex. Sex I can get anytime...I want the connection with a person for the relationship to have a chance...even if it's only one date. That's what makes me nervous I guess. I don't know how the other person feels...what they are thinking about the situation, about me. If I know I'm just getting sex...so easy. Now I just need to learn how to say hello outside of that scenario...or I'll never get another date!

Questions without answers...

I know I'm not alone, but sometimes I ask myself questions that have no answers. Questions that don't need to be asked. That aren't healthy to ask. That don't need answers, because whatever the answer isn't going to change the situation. I need to stop asking those questions. I need to stop wondering. It doesn't do me any good - it doesn't lead me to a healthy place. It doesn't help.

For example - asking why you get invited to some events and not others. Why friends sometimes invite you and sometimes don't. What if I had never moved here, or worked there? Why some people make more money. Why do some friends only tell you things that they want you to hear? How come with some friends it's always on their terms? What you have to do to get ahead. Where life will take you next. Who does this person think they are? Why is this happening. Just a random selection of questions that fit the bill. They all have answers. Do you need to know them? Will the answers make the situation any different? Will the answers make you feel better? Probably not. So why ask them in the first place? They just lead you down a path of never-ending questions that have no solid answers...so why ask them in the first place.

As Annie aptly points out, perhaps it's because "somethings are better left unsaid but they still turn me inside out..."

Wonder

There are a ton of things that make me pause with wonder. More lately than before it seems, and I'm not sure why. I wonder why if more people are traveling by air, the flights are not as frequent and they cost more. I wonder what gave the planners of Central Park the forethought to know that a giant park in the middles of New York City would provide city dwellers with a sense of purpose and community for so long. I wonder what it would be like to be rich. I wonder what it would be like to live in London. I wonder if I can ever get past my emotional eating habits. I wonder if I'll ever have a flat stomach and muscles. I wonder if I'm on the right path.

I wonder why some people are friends for a lifetime and others only for shorter bursts. I wonder why, regardless of length those friends make a meaningful impact on your life. I wonder why it is that some friends can be closer than family.

I wonder why music and art can make such a lasting impression on the human spirit but sometimes a person cannot. I wonder why we are drawn to different types of music and art and why others are not appealing in the slightest. I wonder why we like some foods and not others. I wonder why our tastes change over time.

Lately, I find myself wondering about excuses. Why do we make them? Why do we need them? Why do we bother? I know that I have made excuses in the past. We all have. I also know there are things in my life that I have done, both good and bad, that I would like to remember or forget and that regardless, I can still play over and over in my head. I am trying not to make excuses for myself anymore. I am responsible for all of my actions. Not my past. Not the voices in my head (call them personalities, spirits, the devil, evil, good - call them whatever you like). Not my friends, for no matter how close a friend or how powerful an influence they have on my life, I made the decisions I made - not them. I am responsible for the actions and decisions I have made in my life and if I want to move past them, I need to not wonder what excuses I can use - but I need to acknowledge and accept them and move on. I don't wonder about that, not anymore.

WDCT - Episode 1

Where does Chistery Travel? I was in London for work recently and picked this stuffed Chistery doll up at Wicked London. I had intentions on giving it to my youngest nephew, Miles.

the view from the Virgin Atlantic Club House in Heathrow

In fact, I was pretty intent on him getting it. I stowed it in my carry on when I checked my bags on the flight home. Then, I was sitting sipping tea in the Virgin ClubHouse and a thought passed through my brain.

you can't go to the Club House and not sit in one of the iconic bubble chairs

I couldn't stop it - Chistery came out of the carry on and I started snapping pictures. I thought it would be really cool if I started taking Chistery with me on my travels and snapping pictures along the way. A bit like a Flat Stanley - only something my nephews could enjoy following along with.

the Upper Class seats are so comfortable

I don't think they really understand what it is what Uncle Greg does. I know they don't really understand what Wicked or Billy Elliot is - or have even heard the music. I do know they know about Flying Monkeys - the Chistery character in Wicked.

you can't sit in Upper Class and not have a drink at the bar...

Since Uncle Greg works on Wicked all over the place, and they don't have stuffed Billy Elliot dolls, I thought this was the next best solution. So...without further ado, I give you the first of Chistery's adventures on the road. He thoroughly enjoyed his Upper Class journey from Heathrow to JFK - and there are many more adventures to come.

after all that...it's bed time for Chistery

Special thanks and shout outs to Danny and Louisa in Upper Class on Virgin Atlantic Flight VS9 from LHR to JFK who helped get all the pictures in flight. This is for my nephews, whom I love dearly - I hope they enjoy Chistery's adventures and all the photos along the way. Miles - you might get Chistery, eventually. Miles, Logan and Connor - Uncle Greg loves you.