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Before I begin my Abolish Seafood Law, I have another important matter to discuss.
I'd like to know, officially, what percentage of a New York State citizen I am. It's not 100% since I don't have all the rights that heterosexual citizens of the state do. I ask, because, in this fiscally challenged world we live in, I'm trying to eliminate expenses. Since I'm not 100% a citizen, I don't think I should have to pay 100% of my New York State taxes until I am. So, Senator - what percent of a citizen of this once great state am I? Answer that carefully. If you think I should have to pay 100% of my state taxes, then you should have given me 100% of the rights I deserve. Until then, I think it only fair that I pay a portion of my taxes, and YOU can figure out how to balance the state budget!
Since we are voting on the way people can and cannot live their lives, and we are using the Bible as our platform, here's my proposal. Since you believe in the Bible, and used that as your rationale for voting against the Same Sex Marriage Bill, I'd like you to introduce a bill that would make catching, serving or merely eating seafood illegal.
The "Moral Majority" or the "Christian Right" is putting my rights on the voting block and telling America that the Bible says Homosexuality is a sin, and that we homosexuals aren't deserving of the same rights and protections as everyone else. They frequently reference Leviticus as their claim that homosexuality is against God. (even though, it should be pointed out that God is about love, but we won't go there.)
In that same book, Leviticus, comes the verse: “Anything living in the water that does not have fins or scales is to be detestable to you” (Leviticus 11:12) If we are to believe the Moral Majority and the Christian Right and are citing Leviticus as our rule of law, then, seriously, let's have at it! If we, truly are waging wars against the sin and depravity in this nation, then let's wage that war against all of it. Seafood is out! Sorry. Simply has to go! Hope you aren't too attached to those lobsters - you simply can't eat them!
I say we put it to a vote. Let's make it a referendum, state by state to take seafood off of America's table! You can lead the charge and start it all off here in New York. You've already helped to prove that Iowa is more progressive than we are, so let's set the state back even further.
Let's advocate kicking the crap out of anyone who eats seafood. You could preach a sermon about it! Caught leaving a seafood restaurant? Well, you will have to worry that the angry mob is going to move in, call you a seafood lover and kick the crap out of you so badly you're left in the intensive care unit. Your family and friends, crying by your bedside will utter the same old statements we hear all the time, he was a good boy, going about his life, he just wanted a little seafood, he shouldn't have to die because of that.
And they'd be correct. You shouldn't have to die because you love seafood. You shouldn't have to worry that you might be beat up by an angry mob leaving a seafood restaurant or a sushi bar. You shouldn't have Bible verses thrown in your face daily and be told you're a sinner. You know what, neither should I. Neither should my friends. If we are going to really use the Bible as our platform, then let's use it as they say we should, as the rule of law for our life. We don't get to pick and chose the parts we like anymore. That's not how the game is played.
We either take all of it as "law" or we accept that it is a book that was written as a guideline for living life, as life existed, centuries ago. If we are willing to admit that times and attitudes have changed about seafood, then, we must be willing to admit that times and attitudes are changing about other things in the Bible, and then not cart out the same old crap as a defense for our fears of difference.
We must not pick and chose. It's all or nothing, and I'm sorry, but that means your teenage daughter can be sold into slavery at an early age and any woman that commits adultery is getting stoned in the town square.
If you don't think I should be voting on your right to put seafood on your table, stop telling people that they can vote on my right to love! I don't care what you do in your kitchen - why should you care what I do in my bedroom????!!!!!???
Questionable NY State Citizen,
Greg Petruska
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