Recovery

I think I talked about it before, but I started the year out by trying barefoot running. Not barefoot, but with those creepy 5 toed shoes. I know, they're creepy...I even think that. But, I had always wanted to try them, they'd be easy to pack when I travel and could save weight and space. I had a gift card I needed to use and decided that I would try them. I had a session with a trainer to talk about stretching and how to use them properly. I geared up and got ready to go. I started running, slowly. I felt it in my calves. I loved it. I could feel every muscle moving. I could really tell the difference when I ran. I was working back up to my former speeds...and it happened. I fell victim to tendonitis. It happens quite frequently it appears with barefoot runners when they first start running. I've been taking it easy and trying not to run and have gone back to sneakers for my work outs while I heal and recover, but it sucks. I want to get back on the wagon and run in them again. I want to be ready to go. I want to be healed. I'm trying not to push it. I haven't run in days and it so sucks!!

Motivation

Some people have it, some people don't. Some people find ways to motivate themselves to do things they might not want to do. Others struggle to find a motivating factor to keep things up. I guess that's why so many people start to hit the gym hard after the holidays, but by now have given up on that goal and have left the gym. I'm not going to lie - the gym is something I struggle with to stay motivated. I know that I have goals, and I know why I go to the gym. It's not for anybody else but me. I want to feel better about how I look and feel. That doesn't keep me motivated though, unfortunately. I have yet to find any motivation to keep me going to the gym - I go because I know it's something I need to do, like eating - but trust me, if there were a pill I could take and look good, I'd be so there. I hate the gym, but I still go. I always stand on the train on the way home and thing, what if I skip today, what would happen. And then I think about it for the 4 stops between work and the gym and I can never come up with a reason or an excuse to not go...so I go. I wouldn't call that motivation though - I don't even call it drive. I just go. I need to find something to motivate me to be there, I clearly haven't yet.

Where's my Loretta Castorini??

When I wake up, it's dark. When I leave the office, it's dark. I get up, get ready for work and go to work. I leave work and go to the gym and work out and go home. I make dinner and relax before I go to bed, to get up and do the same thing over the next day. Sometimes I wonder why. I know why I do to the gym...to keep myself healthy and to lose half my body fat (well, that's my current challenge). I know why I go to work. I know why I eat dinner. I know why I do all the things that I do...I just feel like that's all I do. I wonder why? I wonder what to change and how to change it. I need Loretta Castorini...I need a Snap Out of It! Moment.

Pet Peeves...

Okay, I know that it's that time of the year. I know that a lot of you decided that it was the time to go back to the gym and get your fit on. Some of us are regular gym goers and are there regularly anyway, not just for a few weeks in January, so let's just discuss some common gym etiquette, shall we?

1) There are bins for your used towels - you don't get to leave wet towels in lockers, on the floor, on the hook in the showers, in the sauna or on the benches. When you're done with them, put them in the proper receptacle.

2) There are NO cell phones or cameras allowed in the locker room...if you are truly committed to your fitness goals, there's absolutely no reason to be sitting on the bench in the locker room for 20 minutes on your blackberry and if the conversation you're having on your iPhone is that important, finish it outside the gym before you come in - the rest of us don't want to hear your lovey-doveys or what company you're angling to take over next.

3) While we're chatting about cell phones - the benches, pec dec machine, stretching area, etc are not phone booths, and I have every RIGHT to ask you if I can work in or if you're using the machine if all you're doing is sitting there on a conversation for 5 minutes and not using the machine - and don't give me any shit about that either. You're not using it and I actually want to - so get out of my way. Now, if you're going to use the machine, that's great, but get off the cell phone and use it - but pick one - because you can't do both.

4) Respect the time limits that the gym sets on machines - especially during Peak Hours - they are there for a reason...so you can't take an hour on the treadmill if the time limit is 30 minutes during peak time...

5) Last, but by NO means LEAST - wipe down the damn benches and cardio machines when you're done with them. There are little wipes all over the damn gym, and you can get a towel - FREE - at the front desk. Pick one up when you check in and carry it with you...you're sweaty and gross (just like I am when I work out) so wipe up after yourself when you're done...I shouldn't have to wipe down the treadmill before I run because you soaked it to the core...it's your sweat...clean it up.

Okay...now, all of these things might not be available at your gym (towels, wipes, etc) but they are available at mine...and let's face it, I'm being a bit vain and narcissistic right now and talking about me and my gym. Every year, I seem to look forward to two things...the first week in January when a big tree comes down and work gets a bit easier to navigate and the beginning of February, when the weak are eliminated and stop coming to the gym...

Difficulty

So, I want to drop some body fat...that means that I need to be really conscious about what I eat, when I eat and how much I eat. We're not just talking meals, we're talking how much protein vs fat I'm getting. We're talking ratios and tracking calories and making sure that everything in my body is being worked off so I have a deficit at the end of the day and therefore burn the leftover fat that's already in my body...this is tough. I knew it wasn't going to be easy...but I've never done this much math just to eat before in my life! If I shed the bodyfat and lose some tonnage, I will be really happy and the work will all be worth it...

Fit not Fat

it's become my new logo/words to live by for the new year. I have the goal of dropping 10% bodyfat by June 1, and I'm doing my best to meet that goal. It means that for right now, there's no ice cream, chocolate, not a lot of sugar...all things I like. I want to get to a good weight/bodyfat level that I can actually maintain without looking anorexic. I want to be around. I am sick of fighting my genes, and while I'm doing a better job than others...I want to kind of do a body reset by getting down the bodyfat and re-train my taste buds. It's not going to be easy and there will be a bunch that I am giving up, but I think it's worth it for my overall health.

I just watched a great video today, put together by a doctor, and the sole premise was please keep your sleeping and sitting to only 23 1/2 hours a day and use that extra 30 minutes to do something physical. When you put it that way...there really are no excuses to not work out regularly for at least 30 minutes a day. All makes sense!

Fit not Fat

That's what my motto for 2012 is going to be. I talked a bit yesterday about my resolutions, one of which is to drop 10% bodyfat by June 1. That's 5 full months. That's 2% per month. That's .5% a week. That's a lot of work. I'm sick of feeling fat though. Even if it is only gay fat/straight skinny, I'm sick of sitting down and feeling like I have a gut. I don't like that. I have wanted the bit of belly gone for a while now, but this is taking that to a whole new level. I've taken some before pictures, and I'll take a new picture on the 1st of every month to track my progress. I am assuming that I will be able to feel my progress more than see it at first, but in the end, it will all pay off. It means that my eating will be a bit restricted. Lots of protein, not a lot of fat. Not a lot of sugar and I'm not sure how I feel about unsweetened coffee...but if I'm going to make this work, I might have to get used to it. I really don't want to pull too much from my diet, as I don't feel like that is realistic. When I get to where I want to go and start eating what I like again, it's all going to come back. This has to be about a lifestyle change. This has to be about small indulgences and not huge ones. This has to be about calories in versus calories out. This is going to kick my ass...but hopefully, some of it will disappear!  =)

Fat Kid...

no matter how much I work out, no matter how much I watch what I eat, no matter how much my body changes - I think there will always be an inner fat kid inside me all the time telling me I am fat or I look fat. 

I know that I have made some really big strides lately - the sizes on the jeans keep going down.  I know that there are muscles where there weren't before (well - they are bigger than they were before).  I know why I'm doing this.  For me - not for anyone else. I would like to put something on though and look in the mirror and not hear my inner fat kid tell me I look fat. Sometimes, I think that little voice will always be there, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing...pushing me to keep working, to not slip into old ways, to keep the sizes on the jeans from going up again. 

other times, I'd like the wring the neck of the inner fat kid and tell him to shut up - I've come a long way since the husky jeans of my youth!