Motivation

Some people have it, some people don't. Some people find ways to motivate themselves to do things they might not want to do. Others struggle to find a motivating factor to keep things up. I guess that's why so many people start to hit the gym hard after the holidays, but by now have given up on that goal and have left the gym. I'm not going to lie - the gym is something I struggle with to stay motivated. I know that I have goals, and I know why I go to the gym. It's not for anybody else but me. I want to feel better about how I look and feel. That doesn't keep me motivated though, unfortunately. I have yet to find any motivation to keep me going to the gym - I go because I know it's something I need to do, like eating - but trust me, if there were a pill I could take and look good, I'd be so there. I hate the gym, but I still go. I always stand on the train on the way home and thing, what if I skip today, what would happen. And then I think about it for the 4 stops between work and the gym and I can never come up with a reason or an excuse to not go...so I go. I wouldn't call that motivation though - I don't even call it drive. I just go. I need to find something to motivate me to be there, I clearly haven't yet.

Where's my Loretta Castorini??

When I wake up, it's dark. When I leave the office, it's dark. I get up, get ready for work and go to work. I leave work and go to the gym and work out and go home. I make dinner and relax before I go to bed, to get up and do the same thing over the next day. Sometimes I wonder why. I know why I do to the gym...to keep myself healthy and to lose half my body fat (well, that's my current challenge). I know why I go to work. I know why I eat dinner. I know why I do all the things that I do...I just feel like that's all I do. I wonder why? I wonder what to change and how to change it. I need Loretta Castorini...I need a Snap Out of It! Moment.

Progress...

So I have been going to the gym forever (at least it feels like that), and am finally really seeing progress. I have been seeing a trainer regularly, and I am liking what's happening to my body. I wish that it was easier. I wish that it wasn't as hard and as challenging. I wonder how all the muscle boys that I see at the gym and in the Pines all weekend do it.

I work all day and then hit the gym for at least an hour on lifting days and at least half an hour on cardio days. I eat right and I don't pig out on crap. I cut out carbs after 7PM. How do they look the way they do? How is it humanly possible to go to the gym 2 hours a day and go to work and have a social life? I struggle with work and the gym as it is and balancing a social life. I rejoice on days that I leave a little early and am out of the gym earlier than I thought I would be. I live for those days.

I look at my before and in progress photos and I'm happy with all that I've been able to accomplish, and I do want more progress. I have had a taste, and I want more! I guess I have to make this routine more a part of my lifestyle. I guess I have to do more with less. I have to do more and make more with what I have.