A Date...

that leads to another and another, and then perhaps another. Is that too much to ask for? In this city, it apparently is.

I've been told by several people, that it's not me, and anywhere else I would be settled down, white picket fence, dogs and husband included. If that's the case, why isn't it happening here in NYC? Is there really something about this city that makes dating so difficult? Is there something in the water that makes men run scared from a relationship? Is it in the water, and if so, how far away do I have to get away from it?

I know that I'm picky. I want a boy to be stable and sane, to have his bags checked (so to speak), to be available and want to date, be able to hold up their end of the conversation, etc. I don't think I'm being that picky. I mean I know that not everyone looks like Brad Pitt or has the body of a gym god. I take care of myself, and I am a catch dammit! I'd just like to get past date number 3...

No More Mr, Nice Guy...

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so nice. Don't get me wrong, I know that's a good characteristic to have, but there are times that I wish I wasn't so nice. I wish I could put more of my bitchiness to use.

When you're getting the break up speech (it's not me, it's you) and they want to stay friends - I'm the nice guy that says, sure. No More Mr. Nice Guy would say F@#k Off!

When you're getting screwed over, Mr Nice Guy remains nice, No More Mr Nice Guy stands up for his rights!

I want a little more No More Mr Nice Guy in my life. I don't want to lose Nice Guy status completely, but I want a little more No More Mr Nice Guy in my life!

Change...

can do you good! I used the long weekend productively and decided that it was time for some change in my bedroom and in the living room. I wanted a new look. It was time to purge some things that have been just sitting around, collecting dust. It was time to move the furniture around a little, open up a little space. It was time to make things a little more open and inviting - maybe it's a metaphor for my life (that's a different blog post though, so...).

I re-arranged my bedroom, and can't believe how much better it feels - even with just a little more space available and not much moved around. The big change came in the living room. It's lighter, brighter and has a much more open and inviting feel to it now.

It is amazing how much a little change can alter your outlook and make things flow and feel. I feel lighter with all of the purging that I've done, and all of the re-arranging that's taken place. Now, there's a ton more to purge and the goal is to get rid of one whole dresser in my bedroom...so the challenge is on!

It's Not You, It's Me.

I know I'm not the only one that this line has been used on. Hell, I've used it once or twice. I seem to have it used on me more frequently though, and I think I've only used it once or maybe, twice. I won't ever use it again though.

It's such a crappy line. It doesn't really answer anything, and it tells the receiver nothing! Absolutely nothing! How many times can you hear it before you start to wonder if it really is, indeed you? I know I have been wondering that today.

I hooked up with this guy a few weeks ago, and during the hookup, we figured out there was a little more there and decided to forgo the hook-up and go on a date. We went out a few times, had a great time together, by both accounts, and there was real potential - at least I thought there was.

I would be mistaken on that count though, as I was informed today, that although he has had a great time, there's no chemistry there, it wasn't me, it was him. I was nice and understanding about it. He had the decency to tell me in person, and not over the phone or text or email. What else was I supposed to be? An ass? What's the point? Besides, karma's a bitch.

I just have to remember...it's not me. Riiiiiight!

Progress...

So I have been going to the gym forever (at least it feels like that), and am finally really seeing progress. I have been seeing a trainer regularly, and I am liking what's happening to my body. I wish that it was easier. I wish that it wasn't as hard and as challenging. I wonder how all the muscle boys that I see at the gym and in the Pines all weekend do it.

I work all day and then hit the gym for at least an hour on lifting days and at least half an hour on cardio days. I eat right and I don't pig out on crap. I cut out carbs after 7PM. How do they look the way they do? How is it humanly possible to go to the gym 2 hours a day and go to work and have a social life? I struggle with work and the gym as it is and balancing a social life. I rejoice on days that I leave a little early and am out of the gym earlier than I thought I would be. I live for those days.

I look at my before and in progress photos and I'm happy with all that I've been able to accomplish, and I do want more progress. I have had a taste, and I want more! I guess I have to make this routine more a part of my lifestyle. I guess I have to do more with less. I have to do more and make more with what I have.

The Lion is Silent...

Senator Edward M Kennedy said, at the Democratic Convention in 1980, “For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die.”

It's amazing to me that this man, who was elected to the senate many times before I was even born, and has done so much with his political career and clout is gone. It's almost surreal...

I'm watching the coverage on TV and I'm just left wondering what's next? What's next for the family, what's next for the health care debate, what's next for liberalism?

Growing up in a very conservative family, Teddy Kennedy was always a beacon of hope from the other side of the spectrum. He did so much for civil rights, immigration, health care and education. He was a huge supporter of equal rights for all, and there have been few like him. Will there be another to take up his torch? That remains to be seen. Personal life aside, he was truly a leader. He was inspirational, well informed, well spoken and thoughtful in his approach. Think what you will about his personal life, as a Senator his legacy is great.

I am hopeful that the torch he carried will be passed to another generation of political leaders. Ones that embrace the cause of equality for all, ones who understand what real leadership is (despite personal circumstances), and what needs to be done, not what will be popular.

Senator Kennedy - here's to a life well lived! Rest in Peace and thank you for all that you've done.

I showered for this?

So...last night I went out for drinks with a guy, thinking there might be potential. We seemed to have a lot in common. He liked theatre, NYC, exploring the city, lived in my neighborhood (which in NYC is a big deal), was around my age, etc. All the pluses were there.

So, we decided to meet for a drink in the neighborhood. He picked the bar, and I'd never been there before. It was a cute place. I worked all day, went to the gym, did my cardio and lifted and then went home. I had dinner, relaxed a little and then took a shower and got myself all dressed up. I mean I took the time to think about what I was going to wear, how I looked in it, etc.

The moment arrived, and I walked up to meet him at the bar. He's cute, so no issues there. He's shorter than me, but that's fine. Takes care of himself, and was not dressed like a slob, and looked like he took some time to think about what he was wearing.

So, knowing he liked theatre, as I do, I asked what the last show that he saw was, and how he liked it. His response, and I shit you not, was "well, I haven't really seen anything since all of the Oscar contenders which I saw, but I did see XMen." Really????? Seriously?????

So, strike one. Then he keeps checking his phone and texting away to someone. Another Hot Date? A hook up? A Drug deal? Anything's possible in NYC. Strike two.

Strike three comes when he asks if I'm seeing anyone, and I say no. I'm single. Then, when I ask the same of him, he says, he's dating someone. Really????? Seriously??????

Strike Three! And then I just started thinking, I showered for this?