Civility

I have to ask - when did civility die? I know - you're thinking, I'm the hardened New Yorker, the bitch, the one who tells it like it is. All of these things are true, but that doesn't mean that I am not courteous and civil to people. The world would be a much different place if we were all a bit more civil towards each other - despite differences.

Let's just examine my day, shall we. I was crossing the street to get to the subway and go to work, and a woman with her head in her iPhone wasn't paying attention, so I moved out of her way (at the last minute, but I still moved) and she raises her head and lets out a torrent of why the hell didn't you get out of my way sooner? Really? Why weren't you paying attention and then I wouldn't have had to deviate from my course? I smiled and kept walking. And, really, who should have been apologizing in this situation.

I'm exiting the subway at Columbus Circle to change trains and get slammed into by two different people forcing their way onto the train as soon as the doors opened, rather than letting those of us that needed to exit the train off first. Waiting until people have exited the train usually works better folks. Not even one, I'm sorry or excuse me...just slam through me. I didn't think the commute had become a mosh pit.


I picked up my coffee and went up to my office. I press my floor, and am told what elevator to go to. I board the elevator when the doors open and it starts whisking my to my floor. I get run into as I'm exiting the elevator because, again, someone was there, just waiting for the doors to open and didn't even bother to check and see if anyone was in the elevator before plowing ahead. I'm going to go there...it was an intern. And then I heard it - she was talking to another intern with her. "Who do these staffers think they are, I mean we all need the elevator, they should know when to exit." EXCUSE ME? Well...I'm a bit riled at that point and, sorry to say dear intern, but your actions and then attitude got you reported to HR and your supervisor - yes, I do know who you are interning for.

The day didn't get much better at the gym. I'm changed, putting the last of my belongings into the locker before locking it and going out to meet the trainer on the floor. A gentleman comes in with his trainer and proceeds to shout through me to his trainer standing on the other side of me and then pushes my stool out of the way (not empty, water bottle, gloves, book all sitting on it) and exclaims, "Christ, what does it take to get to my locker." I just shake my head, and think to myself, excuse me, but are you getting ready to leave, can I get into my locker. I'm thinking a multitude of things, but I just pick up my stuff from the floor, lock my locker and leave the locker room. I get pushed by my trainer, have a great session thanks to having frustration to work out and then go back into the locker room to change. I'm almost at the point where I'm leaving. A completely different gentleman comes in with his workout partner. I still have a few things on the stool to put in my bag and my coat in the locker. He proceeds to just peel off his sweaty clothes and pile them on top of my things on the stool. I've about lost it at this point. I just take a breath and look at him square in the eye and say, "Excuse me, but might I get my stuff from underneath your sweaty clothes?" To which he responds, "where the fuck did you think I should put my stuff?" Well, anywhere but on top of mine, or how about asking me politely to move mine before you start to cover it. No...you just started piling on top. You're damn lucky it wasn't on top of my good bag or coat or you would have been walking out with a few less teeth of broken fingers.

When did respect and civility die? Where did it go? Is it really that difficult to say Excuse Me or I'm sorry when you bump into someone, or ask if the stool is taken, or if you can move it to get into your locker or pile you stuff on top of it? Maybe it's just the day I've had...but I really think civility has left New York City...and I don't know where it's gone.