George...

There is really no way to talk about this, without someone I know (maybe a few people) reading it and feeling sad...and that is not my intent at all. I am okay with it. It is what it is, and I know it won't always be this way.

I find sleeping in a Queen sized bed lonely when I sleep alone. I feel like a kid when I sleep in a twin bed, and let's face it, now that I've gone up to a Queen from a Double/Full...there's just no going back! (that, and a Queen deserves a Queen). I would prefer to have someone occupy the bed with me...but that's not happening, so, in the interim I wrap my arms around a body pillow every night and his name is George. I don't recall how he was bestowed with the name George, but if I'm sleeping with him every night he might as well have a name...makes it seem like less of a one night stand, no? He makes climbing into bed a little less lonely.

I am not lonely, per se. I have an amazing family and great friends, and it's not like I sit home alone every night and wish there were people in my life. I just wish there was someone I wanted to share my bed with me on a regular basis. Like I said, I'm not lonely...I am just longing for that person I want to spend more than one night and who wants to spend more than one night in my bed with me...and then George can retire to some island somewhere where the cabana boys wear tight little speedoes and bring him fruity drinks in festive glasses. He deserves that after having put up with me for so long...so, Mr Right (and I stress, not just Mr. Right Now) if you're out there reading this, please let me know...George needs to start planning for retirement!

Bullies

Today, being spirit day where we show our support for youth (LGBT youth in particular) that are bullied. I figured it was appropriate to talk about all the different types of bullies out there. It's more than just the kids shouting taunts at each other anymore - make no mistake about it, those kinds of bullies are still there, but there are so many more these days.

There's the activist that believes so much in their cause that they are blinded by their ideals and cannot see the other side of the argument and quickly resort to nasty tactics to prove their point, often ignoring the fallacy of their own statements or their own contradictory nature. Take for example the National Organization for Marriage. They claim that gay marriage shouldn't be allowed because it violates the traditional definition of marriage, which in their eyes, involves procreation and the raising of children. In reality...they shout this at the top of their lungs, so loudly that they don't hear the questions. Why aren't you fighting divorce? With divorce rates in this country sky-rocketing, clearly this is bad for marriage. Why aren't you fighting marriages that take place that don't result in children? You yourselves said that marriage is all about procreation - so if a marriage does not produce children, it should be dissolved, it is clearly not a traditional marriage. They don't fight these things because they are bullies. They really don't care about marriage - they are just against the gays, and will do anything in their power to "put us in our place".

There's the friends that take advantage and only take, take, take and give nothing back...everything becomes your fault. You are the one that lost touch, you are the one that never calls, you are the one that constantly has to keep up the communication and thus the friendship. They are constantly blathering on about how great your friendship is, but don't ever take steps to see you or contact you unless they need something. That's not a friend...it's a contact and you network with contacts. They have time for everyone in their life but you. Dinner? A show? Getting together? They are far too busy to make time for that...but they have time to take another trip with another friend. They have time to go to this benefit or that and blast it all over twitter or facebook, but don't have the time for you. That's not a friend...it's a bully...a time bully, and my time is just as important as yours, so if you're a time bully, I have no time for you until the scales come even.

Just two examples of the non-traditional bullies that are out there...there are many more. The time has come for us all to say goodbye to bullying, to take ownership of any bullying we do and let it go...become better people, better friends...better humans...we're all in this together!

Bucket List...

I'm not talking about that horrid movie with Jack Nicholson in it, but the concept is still the same. Do you have a list of things you'd like to do before you die? How long have you been keeping it and what makes the cut? Are there only little things on the list, or big ones too? How many things have you been able to tick off? I'm intrigued by this concept as I've recently started to keep a sort of bucket list. I've decided that there are some things that can be added, even though I have already done them. Major events, things it was nice to have done, but I know I might not get to do again. I've been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, when I was in High School. I would love to do it again, but if I don't get to, I know that I've done it. There are things on there that have yet to be ticked off. I'll get to them, sooner or later, hopefully. You know what's not on there? Wasting time on stupid mis-understandings. Putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect...and expecting that from myself. Working 14 hours a day isn't on there either (although at times, that does become a thing you must do). The things that are one there will take me some time to accomplish and I hope that I get to the end of my life and say that I was able to tick all of them off...that would be a life lived without regret.

Changes...

they're inevitable. Things change all the time. We can go with the flow and learn and grow from the changes or we can become paralyzed with fear and hope that change never happens. Just because things are changing doesn't mean that it's bad...but it doesn't mean it's good either. Sometimes it's about your perspective. Some folk see growing older (as your body does and changes all the time in doing so) as a bad thing...others embrace it. Change happens...and starts at a young age. Your diapers get changed...you change grades in school...you change from being a passenger to driving the car...you change friends...you change hairstyles...you change boyfriends or girlfriends..sometimes as often as you change classes in high school.

When you're younger, you don't fear change as much...it's happening to everyone you know, all around you. As you get older you suddenly realize that there are patterns to your life and that even the slightest changes to those patterns have unique consequences. Any little change can upset the balance. We have to learn to not let change paralyze us with fear. As adults we have to be more adaptive to change and what it can bring. We have to see through our own fear and realize that every day we all change in ways that aren't even seen...so just because we see this change coming doesn't mean its bad.

Change isn't easy...nothing in life is. Change can be hard. Change can get up in your face and yell and scream...change can just walk away without explanation...change can be slower and slowly drift out of your life...like watching the tide go out and not knowing where it's gone. Change can come and go in all of these ways and more...change can drive you to keep going and make you stronger or change can paralyze you with fear...I chose to let change make me stronger...no matter what the struggle. I also chose to believe that change heavy to carry around...which is why nobody does for long!

Oversharing...

In this day and age, when everyone has a blog, and facebook and a twitter account (or two or three) and mobile devices that are all more powerful and more portable than my first laptop computer I worry sometimes about the oversharing of information. Do we really need to know it all? I mean, do I need to know where you are for lunch and who you're with just by the virtue of your check in? Do I really care?

Do I really need to know? Probably not, but it's nice to have the information. Do I really care? Not about everyone's check in activity, but about a core group of people's...sure I do. Let's face it, technology has made it very easy for us all to stay in touch and up to date with everyone, everywhere...

One word of caution though...I you start checking in from the bathroom...I'm probably going to unfollow you! =)