Masculinity

What makes someone masculine?  What makes someone feminine?  It's something that I have struggled with for most of my life.  Even in elementary and high school I was the one being picked on for not being masculine enough.  It's always made me wonder what defines masculinity.  I've come to my own conclusions, they differ from other people though. 

I personally believe that masculinity is defined from within.  Just because you have bulging muscles and facial hair doesn't make you masculine.  You can be rail thin and wiry and be more masculine than a muscle boy.  It's how you feel and project yourself.  I am a man, I am therefore masculine.  I know that I have my moments where the feminine side shows.  I can be emotional, I can be romantic - I'm gay - but that doesn't make me any less masculine than other men out there.  I have a penis, and trust me when I tell you I know what one is, I've seen plenty of them!  I am a man.  I do not let what I wear, what my apt looks like, how I smell, what shoes I wear or what bag I carry define my masculinity.

I wear clothes that fit me well, are stylish and comfortable.  I like my apt to be clean an orderly, I have a sense of style.  I like to smell good, and have a few scents I really like to wear.  I like to have a variety of shoes to wear, but don't call me Imelda Marcos.  The bag I carry is functional, it accommodates everything I need it to:  the book I'm currently reading, my gym clothes, the water bottle, the coffee thermos, my iPod and headphones, etc.  None of those things define who I am with regard to my masculinity, at least not to me.

Imagine my surprise then when I'm told in the locker room of the gym last night by some ass, clearly, that my bag was not masculine enough and I should get something else.  The dumb schmuck didn't know what hit him, or who he was dealing with when I replied:
That's odd, because the same could be said about your shoes.  At least I don't let objects define my masculinity, good luck to you though, since clearly you do.

His jaw dropped, and I made my exit...I should write a show...or a book!  I love being sarcastic and witty and being able to think on my feet...I think that's the blessing of being an out gay man that doesn't really care what everyone else thinks.

Arrival Day

For a long time, Valentine's day hasn't really meant anything to me - whether I've been with someone or not.  It's just another day.  I'm a romantic by nature, I don't need a special day on the calendar to remind me to hold someone's hand and tell them I love them.

For 27 years though, Feb 15th has been a very special day in my family.  It's the day we celebrate my sister entering our lives.  She's my sister, and I regularly forget that she's adopted, but today always reminds me.  Not because we think of her any differently because she's adopted, but because we celebrate how much we wanted her in our lives.  My mom and dad really wanted a little girl.  They got sorta close with me, way off base with my brother, and figured, why take a chance and adopted my sister.

My sister and I have always been really close, and she's taught me so much about inner strength and fortitude, and just having the courage to be yourself.  I love her so much...so today it's about her!  Happy Arrival Day Bean!

Hallmark Holidays...

So, today was Valentines Day - the highest and holiest of the hallmark holidays!  It's completely over-rated.  Single or with someone, I never really put too much stock in the importance of this hyped up holiday.  It's really just another day, and do you need a special reason to say I Love You to someone?  If you do, one day isn't going to help you!

Why is it that love is in the air for Valentine's Day and the other days seem forgotten?  When I worked in higher education, I used to sponsor Anti-Valentine's Day parties - whether I was single or not.  There are a ton of single people out there that just end up getting depressed at all the over hype this day has in store, is it any wonder there's some resentment there?

This year, I am single yet again, and my usual Valentine (my best friend) is across the pond, hopefully having a very good time with a boy - I wish him all the best!  I cleaned, re-arranged furniture, went to the gym, ran a few errands, bought myself something nice, and have had a lazy Sunday lounging about watching tv and lots of gay movies.  Would I rather have had someone's hand to hold, hell yeah - will that feeling be there tomorrow the same as it was the day before?  Hell yes.  I'm a romantic at heart - Valentine's Day does not change that!

So, happy Hallmark Holiday y'all!  Besides, for me, tomorrow is the most important day - Arrival Day!

It's Not Mean if it's True

So, I live by this quote. I've taught it to others who are now bowing down to the alter of INMIIT! I know mean, I can be a bitch. I have seen and been mean at points in my life. Simply pointing out the truth is not mean, it's the truth. There's a difference. It's a huge difference. I'm not inherently mean, but when I tell the truth, sometimes it can be mistaken as mean.

Pointing out that someone's customer service skills are lacking, when indeed they are, is not mean, it's true. Telling the person they're stupid and slow is mean. Telling a waiter that he screwed up the order is not mean, it's true. Telling the waiter he's a fuck up is mean. See the difference. It can be a subtle difference, but it's there.

Just remember, it's not mean if it's true.