I worked the parade again today for the I don't know how many times. It's not what I would really like to have been doing - I would love to have spent time with my family and friends. I would rather have not been dealing with the strange and stupid things that the general public can do at a live television event.
Then I started thinking - I am thankful to have the opportunity to have worked the parade again, I am thankful for my job. I am thankful that my friends and family know that I love them, even though I can't be with them today. I am thankful for my health. I am thankful that I had a bed to go home and sleep in (hey, up at midnight and 2 am call time, getting home at 2 pm is a long day!) and I am thankful that my family loves me for who I am!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Ask a Stupid Question...
get a stupid answer. It sounds really simple, but it's amazing how many stupid questions you can get in a given day if you really pay attention.
For example, I was at the uptown location for the Thanksgiving Day parade today to make sure the crew is doing okay and weren't having issues with set up to go live tomorrow. It's the day before Thanksgiving. There are signs all over the place that say the 82nd Annual Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The balloons were even being blown up all around. Yet, people still stopped to ask, what's going on? What are you setting up for?
Toward the end of the day, started alternating stories- the gay pride parade, the new years eve ball drop, a tampon commercial. Really, Seriously? What do you think we're setting up for? Ask a Stupid Question - get a Stupid Answer!
For example, I was at the uptown location for the Thanksgiving Day parade today to make sure the crew is doing okay and weren't having issues with set up to go live tomorrow. It's the day before Thanksgiving. There are signs all over the place that say the 82nd Annual Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The balloons were even being blown up all around. Yet, people still stopped to ask, what's going on? What are you setting up for?
Toward the end of the day, started alternating stories- the gay pride parade, the new years eve ball drop, a tampon commercial. Really, Seriously? What do you think we're setting up for? Ask a Stupid Question - get a Stupid Answer!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wife/Husband VS. Longtime Companion?
It does have a ring to it, doesn't it? So my friend's mom sent him this text and he sent it out to a bunch of us, and I liked it so much I have decided to post it here. It's a truly interesting social experiment. What if no one were allowed to be called wife or husband? Don't those titles exist for a reason? Isn't there some depth to that relationship? I would answer yes, but apparently some folks don't think so. So if there's not a difference in some peoples minds, then we should all refer to each other's significant others as longtime companion. From now on, I guess I'll just ask how's your longtime companion and see how many people react, notice or wonder why.
Tom Ackerman writes:
"I no longer recognize marriage. It’s a new thing I’m trying.
Turns out it’s fun.
Yesterday I called a woman’s spouse her boyfriend.
She says, correcting me, “He’s my husband,”
“Oh,” I say, “I no longer recognize marriage.”
The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years,
“How’s your longtime companion, Jill?”
“She’s my wife!”
“Yeah, well, my beliefs don’t recognize marriage.”
Fun. And instant, eyebrow-raising recognition. Suddenly the majority gets to feel what the minority feels. In a moment they feel what it’s like to have their relationship downgraded, and to have a much taken-for-granted right called into question because of another’s beliefs.
Just replace the words husband, wife, spouse, or fiancé with boyfriend, girlfriend, special friend, or longtime companion. There is a reason we needed stronger words for more serious relationships. We know it; now they can see it.
A marriage is a lot of things. Culturally, it’s a declaration to the community that two people are now a unit, and that unity should be respected. Legally, it’s a set of rights and responsibilities. And spiritually, it’s whatever your beliefs think it is.
That’s what’s so great about America. As a Constitutionally secular nation, or at least in reality a vaguely pluralistic nation, we can all have our own spiritual take on what marriage is. What’s troublesome is when one group’s spiritual beliefs deny the cultural and legal rights of another.
But, back to the point. They say their beliefs don’t recognize my marriage, I say my beliefs don’t recognize theirs. Simple. It may seem petty, and obviously the legal part of the cultural/legal/spiritual trilogy is flip-floppy, but it may be the cultural part that really matters.
People get married to be recognized as a permanent couple. To be acknowledged by friends, family, and strangers as being off the market, in a relationship, totally hooked up, yikes… it’s impossible to say without saying ‘married.’ We wear rings to declare this!
So, we can take this away. We can refuse to recognize marriage in the cultural sense. It is totally within our rights, as Americans, to follow our beliefs and recognize or not recognize what we like.
I guess this is a call out to all Americans with beliefs similar to mine.
If you believe that all people should have equal rights, and if you believe that marriage is one of the greatest destinations of a relationship, then perhaps you believe that nobody should have marriage until everybody does.
That’s what I believe."
Works for me.
Tom Ackerman writes:
"I no longer recognize marriage. It’s a new thing I’m trying.
Turns out it’s fun.
Yesterday I called a woman’s spouse her boyfriend.
She says, correcting me, “He’s my husband,”
“Oh,” I say, “I no longer recognize marriage.”
The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years,
“How’s your longtime companion, Jill?”
“She’s my wife!”
“Yeah, well, my beliefs don’t recognize marriage.”
Fun. And instant, eyebrow-raising recognition. Suddenly the majority gets to feel what the minority feels. In a moment they feel what it’s like to have their relationship downgraded, and to have a much taken-for-granted right called into question because of another’s beliefs.
Just replace the words husband, wife, spouse, or fiancé with boyfriend, girlfriend, special friend, or longtime companion. There is a reason we needed stronger words for more serious relationships. We know it; now they can see it.
A marriage is a lot of things. Culturally, it’s a declaration to the community that two people are now a unit, and that unity should be respected. Legally, it’s a set of rights and responsibilities. And spiritually, it’s whatever your beliefs think it is.
That’s what’s so great about America. As a Constitutionally secular nation, or at least in reality a vaguely pluralistic nation, we can all have our own spiritual take on what marriage is. What’s troublesome is when one group’s spiritual beliefs deny the cultural and legal rights of another.
But, back to the point. They say their beliefs don’t recognize my marriage, I say my beliefs don’t recognize theirs. Simple. It may seem petty, and obviously the legal part of the cultural/legal/spiritual trilogy is flip-floppy, but it may be the cultural part that really matters.
People get married to be recognized as a permanent couple. To be acknowledged by friends, family, and strangers as being off the market, in a relationship, totally hooked up, yikes… it’s impossible to say without saying ‘married.’ We wear rings to declare this!
So, we can take this away. We can refuse to recognize marriage in the cultural sense. It is totally within our rights, as Americans, to follow our beliefs and recognize or not recognize what we like.
I guess this is a call out to all Americans with beliefs similar to mine.
If you believe that all people should have equal rights, and if you believe that marriage is one of the greatest destinations of a relationship, then perhaps you believe that nobody should have marriage until everybody does.
That’s what I believe."
Works for me.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Suggestions...
does anyone know if voodoo will break the power of a coven? I really think they're witches! Long story...just venting!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Come Out, Come out...
where-ever you are. I know, it's a tried and true chant from the kids games of Hide and Go Seek. It's also something, that as an openly gay man, living in today's society I happen to believe in.
We are no longer dragged out of bars (no pun intended) just because we are gay. The AIDS epidemic is no longer just a GAY disease. We are protesting the passing of Prop 8 and other legislation that took away our right to marry. But have we forgotten our roots?
We are no longer dragged out of bars because we are gay because people came out, let their friends and families know who they were and that they weren't afraid to stand up for their rights. The AIDS epidemic proved to America that we are a community that can come together in good times (duh) and bad to get things done.
Maybe if more people that voted yes for Prop 8 knew GLBTQ folks they would have changed their minds. Maybe not. But does it hurt to come out of the gay ghettos and make ourselves known? Were we just campaigning in WeHo and Silverlake or were we knocking door to door (just like the Mormons do) in areas where we might not have had overwhelming support but where we could have swayed one vote?
I am out and proud. I have taken a male date to my brothers wedding and listened to fag jokes in the bathroom when the in-laws didn't know I was there. I have given my nephews books with themes of diversity and that have gay characters. I have never been in the closet at work since I came out. I have been in places where I was the only openly gay employee (not the only gay employee, but the only openly gay one). I have worked with college kids and watched them struggle with coming out to their parents and family and have seen the results on the good and the bad side. But, you know what - there are more good stories now.
As we, as a community, make ourselves more visible and more known, and not just to each other, we continue to change peoples attitudes. I know this is true. I know people that have told me that their attitude changed after they met and got to know me. I have watched the inlaws drop their guard a little once they figured out I wasn't recruiting. My grandmothers (god rest them and I miss them) knew I was gay. One even knit me a rainbow pride scarf - and knew full well what it meant when I asked for it. Coming out can have an impact. We need to remember that.
I know that not everyone is in a place where the can be totally out - but pick your battles, and if it's not going to cost you - come out and help sway opinion.
And while we're on the subject - we need to remember to "Mourn the losses, because there are many, but celebrate the victoires, because there are few." I don't know who said it originally, but I always remember Debbie saying it to Michael in Queer as Folk.
So - way to go CT - we might not be there in CA and other places yet, but as a CT neighbor, it's nice to know I can get hitched there and have it recognized in NY. Now if only I could find the right guy to get hitched to...hmmmmmm
We are no longer dragged out of bars (no pun intended) just because we are gay. The AIDS epidemic is no longer just a GAY disease. We are protesting the passing of Prop 8 and other legislation that took away our right to marry. But have we forgotten our roots?
We are no longer dragged out of bars because we are gay because people came out, let their friends and families know who they were and that they weren't afraid to stand up for their rights. The AIDS epidemic proved to America that we are a community that can come together in good times (duh) and bad to get things done.
Maybe if more people that voted yes for Prop 8 knew GLBTQ folks they would have changed their minds. Maybe not. But does it hurt to come out of the gay ghettos and make ourselves known? Were we just campaigning in WeHo and Silverlake or were we knocking door to door (just like the Mormons do) in areas where we might not have had overwhelming support but where we could have swayed one vote?
I am out and proud. I have taken a male date to my brothers wedding and listened to fag jokes in the bathroom when the in-laws didn't know I was there. I have given my nephews books with themes of diversity and that have gay characters. I have never been in the closet at work since I came out. I have been in places where I was the only openly gay employee (not the only gay employee, but the only openly gay one). I have worked with college kids and watched them struggle with coming out to their parents and family and have seen the results on the good and the bad side. But, you know what - there are more good stories now.
As we, as a community, make ourselves more visible and more known, and not just to each other, we continue to change peoples attitudes. I know this is true. I know people that have told me that their attitude changed after they met and got to know me. I have watched the inlaws drop their guard a little once they figured out I wasn't recruiting. My grandmothers (god rest them and I miss them) knew I was gay. One even knit me a rainbow pride scarf - and knew full well what it meant when I asked for it. Coming out can have an impact. We need to remember that.
I know that not everyone is in a place where the can be totally out - but pick your battles, and if it's not going to cost you - come out and help sway opinion.
And while we're on the subject - we need to remember to "Mourn the losses, because there are many, but celebrate the victoires, because there are few." I don't know who said it originally, but I always remember Debbie saying it to Michael in Queer as Folk.
So - way to go CT - we might not be there in CA and other places yet, but as a CT neighbor, it's nice to know I can get hitched there and have it recognized in NY. Now if only I could find the right guy to get hitched to...hmmmmmm
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
things to ponder...
in the times of uncertainty ahead, and the turmoil over second class citizenry...I'm left thinking about these quotes frequently.
found this one on the subway - thanks Columiba University and Barnes and Noble for the Thoughts in Motion campaign!
On Liberty
"The only freedom deserving the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest." - John Stuart Mill
"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." - J. R. R. Tolkien
"Still, the Bible is a mirror. You end up reading it not as a reflection of how it is, but of how you are. If you're a bigoted, narrow minded person, you will find bigotry in the Bible." - Daniel Tammet
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
Just food for thought!
found this one on the subway - thanks Columiba University and Barnes and Noble for the Thoughts in Motion campaign!
On Liberty
"The only freedom deserving the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest." - John Stuart Mill
"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." - J. R. R. Tolkien
"Still, the Bible is a mirror. You end up reading it not as a reflection of how it is, but of how you are. If you're a bigoted, narrow minded person, you will find bigotry in the Bible." - Daniel Tammet
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
Just food for thought!
Friday, November 7, 2008
hypocrisy
It's been apart of the fabric of America for a long time. It's very present lately.
When I was in college, one of the best books I read was for an American History class that I was taking. It was called American Slavery, American Freedom, or something like that, I couldn't find it when I googled. The basic premise was that while we were busy fighting for our freedom from the tyranny of British rule, we were enslaving many others. We eventually ended slavery, but the Civil Rights movement taught us that there wasn't really truly freedom. There still isn't - not for all of our citizenry.
We just elected the first African-American president of the United States - something to truly celebrate. They hypocrisy of it all is that at the same time we did that, we took away rights from LGBT citizens - giving them second class status, and most, are failing to see the connection that while we broke one barrier, we are keeping many others chained.
Seperate is not equal. Civil Unions are not marriage. I'm not asking the church to marry me, I am asking for all the rights of a civil marriage though. When my brother and sister in law got married by the Justice of the Peace (no church involved) it wasn't called a Civil Union. They didn't have to sign several other contracts with each other to have all the rights that come with marriage. If straight copules that got married outside of religious forums (and they do, every day) didn't get the same rights that those who were married within religious forums did, we would have daily protests until the wrong was righted. But, because gay couples are seen as second class citizens, when we ask for equal treatment under the law - we are pushin our agenda. Think about it.
Gavin Newssom is 100% correct when he says that seperate is not equal, and civil marriage should not be defined by religious definitions. What happened to the seperation of church and state?
When I was in college, one of the best books I read was for an American History class that I was taking. It was called American Slavery, American Freedom, or something like that, I couldn't find it when I googled. The basic premise was that while we were busy fighting for our freedom from the tyranny of British rule, we were enslaving many others. We eventually ended slavery, but the Civil Rights movement taught us that there wasn't really truly freedom. There still isn't - not for all of our citizenry.
We just elected the first African-American president of the United States - something to truly celebrate. They hypocrisy of it all is that at the same time we did that, we took away rights from LGBT citizens - giving them second class status, and most, are failing to see the connection that while we broke one barrier, we are keeping many others chained.
Seperate is not equal. Civil Unions are not marriage. I'm not asking the church to marry me, I am asking for all the rights of a civil marriage though. When my brother and sister in law got married by the Justice of the Peace (no church involved) it wasn't called a Civil Union. They didn't have to sign several other contracts with each other to have all the rights that come with marriage. If straight copules that got married outside of religious forums (and they do, every day) didn't get the same rights that those who were married within religious forums did, we would have daily protests until the wrong was righted. But, because gay couples are seen as second class citizens, when we ask for equal treatment under the law - we are pushin our agenda. Think about it.
Gavin Newssom is 100% correct when he says that seperate is not equal, and civil marriage should not be defined by religious definitions. What happened to the seperation of church and state?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
What's next?
It's a question that's been plaguing me these last few days. We took a giant step forward as a country and several back when it comes to individual rights. This is not about religion, this is not about civility, this is not about even what's right and wrong. This is about Hate!
It did make me go and reference the poem First they came, by Pastor Martin Niemoller about the Holocaust. It makes me wonder who will be standing up for who. Who is standing in my corner?
First they came for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
and by that time there was no one
left to speak up for me.
Chickens and other farm animals can't speak...but they have more rights than I do now apparently - who's left to speak for me?
(shout out to Jason for the great pic from the West Hollywood protest rally yesterday!)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Why I'm dismayed...
Farm Animals (Prop 2) in California got more rights as the proposition for their fair treatment passed. GLBT citizens look to have their rights revoked (Prop 8), thus writing discrimination into the constitution in California. I'm not a Californian, but I am an American citizen, and apparently my rights are not as important as the fair treatment of animals. What gives America?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Politics...
So, for the first time, EVER, I had to stand in line to get into my polling place and vote. I know some of you are thinking that odd since I live in Manhattan, but it's true. I have had small lines to contend with, but never ones that wrap around the block. I am home sick today, fever, aches, cough, running nose, congestion...yada, yada, yada. I summoned all of my energy and showered and walked over to vote, knowing that early was better than later.
I studied Political Science in college, and I remember one of my professors in one of those first Poli Sci classes asking why we got into politics. I remember listening to everyone's answers: they wanted a career in public service, it was a good major for law school, etc. My answer was a little bit more flippant, but definitely closer to home. When I was a kid, my uncle ran for Mayor of the next town/city over. He had put one of his campaign signs in my grandmother's garage, on top of the cabinet where all of my toys were stored. I didn't know it was there, and opened the cabinet, only to have the sign fall off and hit me in the head/nose. Quite literally, Politics hit me over the head. That's the flip part. The reality is, politics has always been part of my family's discourse. Growing up there were always conversations about politics. My grandmother and aunt were very outspoken democrats and I remember always admiring them for having the courage/conviction to go up against most of the rest of my family when it came to politics.
When I registered to vote, I was of course a Democrat. Those were ideals that I could stand behind. I am definitely more liberal than other members of my family. I rememeber wanting to be able to be on my grandmother and aunt's side when the discusstion turned to politics, even before I could understand those conversations. They believed what they were talking about, and even I, as a child, could see that. My first presidential election was for Clinton's first term in office, and I was able to hear him speak not long after that election. It was really awe-inspiring - whether you believed in him or not.
My dad is worried about my politics, more so than my sexuality. Even to this day, the one thing he'd like to change is the Democrat in my, not the gay. When I came out, I remember him asking if I was still a Democrat. I, of course, answered yes. He asked if we could work on that. That was the extent of his concern over my coming out (at least the concern that he voiced to me). For me, I think the liberal, Democrat and gay all go hand in hand, so to speak. They are all a PART of who I am as a whole.
Politics has been a part of my life for so long, and I've been thinking about it alot lately. If you haven't done so yet - GO VOTE. I don't care who you're voting for, get up, get out and vote. Excercise your right to be heard.
I studied Political Science in college, and I remember one of my professors in one of those first Poli Sci classes asking why we got into politics. I remember listening to everyone's answers: they wanted a career in public service, it was a good major for law school, etc. My answer was a little bit more flippant, but definitely closer to home. When I was a kid, my uncle ran for Mayor of the next town/city over. He had put one of his campaign signs in my grandmother's garage, on top of the cabinet where all of my toys were stored. I didn't know it was there, and opened the cabinet, only to have the sign fall off and hit me in the head/nose. Quite literally, Politics hit me over the head. That's the flip part. The reality is, politics has always been part of my family's discourse. Growing up there were always conversations about politics. My grandmother and aunt were very outspoken democrats and I remember always admiring them for having the courage/conviction to go up against most of the rest of my family when it came to politics.
When I registered to vote, I was of course a Democrat. Those were ideals that I could stand behind. I am definitely more liberal than other members of my family. I rememeber wanting to be able to be on my grandmother and aunt's side when the discusstion turned to politics, even before I could understand those conversations. They believed what they were talking about, and even I, as a child, could see that. My first presidential election was for Clinton's first term in office, and I was able to hear him speak not long after that election. It was really awe-inspiring - whether you believed in him or not.
My dad is worried about my politics, more so than my sexuality. Even to this day, the one thing he'd like to change is the Democrat in my, not the gay. When I came out, I remember him asking if I was still a Democrat. I, of course, answered yes. He asked if we could work on that. That was the extent of his concern over my coming out (at least the concern that he voiced to me). For me, I think the liberal, Democrat and gay all go hand in hand, so to speak. They are all a PART of who I am as a whole.
Politics has been a part of my life for so long, and I've been thinking about it alot lately. If you haven't done so yet - GO VOTE. I don't care who you're voting for, get up, get out and vote. Excercise your right to be heard.
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