it's a new dawn...

a new day...a new life and I'm feeling good...

It's more than a J-Hud single and a Weight Watchers commercial. I'm using it as my new mantra for 2011. This year is the year of me. I've found my voice again and my backbone and I'm not afraid of using them. I'm shedding weight and feeling like myself.

I'm finally at a good place at the gym...I have less than 4% bodyfat left to shed, and less than 9 pounds...I'm excited about that prospect - and finally getting to eat some other foods again. It hasn't really been as bad as I thought it might be, and I am down to an almost 8 minute mile...who would have thought.

I'm not just shedding weight on my body though, I have decided there are too many things in my life that were weighing me down. Things I had collected that were being held onto for one reason or another, but none of the reasons really good. It's not always an easy process letting go of your things...tangible or intangible, but if one is to move one's life forward, it is a necessary step. The past can weigh you down, whether you want it to or not...I'm making the decision about what is worth holding onto and what can be let go, rather than vice versa. Sometimes, you hold onto the memories and not the object, and other times you hold onto both.

Much like my diet these last few months, I keep continually asking myself - is XXX helping me to accomplish my goals? How is XXX helping me to accomplish my goals? What do I get from XXX that makes me want to hold on? If I don't have good answers to those questions, clearly I don't need to have XXX around. It's a long road, and I'm nowhere near done, and it will be a road I continue to travel for the rest of my life - but with practice, it will become easier.

I feel myself lighter and freer than I have felt in a long time, which is how I know the process is working. Painful, difficult, a challenge at times - but well worth it in the long run. Like I said, it's the tangible and the intangible.

I'm letting go of emotions, and emotional baggage. I'm sick of keeping things bottled up and unspoken for fear of how people will react. I'm sick of being the nice guy all the time and letting my wants and needs be trampled. I'm over being in the back seat of my own life. I'm not ever going to have the perfect body, or be the perfect son or brother. I'm not going to be the best at everything or at many things, but I can surely try my best, and that's all I can hope for from myself. I won't always have all the answers (I know, shocking - unless we're potentially talking about trivia questions about pop culture) and it's okay that I don't. I know where to look to find the answers and who I can trust and turn to when I need additional help.

I'm at peace with the lighter me...literally and figuratively and I look forward what 2011 will bring me.