okay, first of all it's been way too long since I've just got the thoughts out. Way too long. I've been on the road again, and planned a vacation for later this month (I had to look up what vacation meant too, don't worry). It's not an excuse, one of my goals for this year was to be more active on here. I'm dropping this line now...if you are at all under the impression that I am virginal and pure, stop reading now and go here.
If you're still reading, you are not under the impression that I am virginal. Good. I'm not. When I'm on the road for work, I have no problems going out to the bar, meeting new people and hooking up. No problems. None. My track record is quite good, well above average, in some places better than others. When it comes to putting myself out there to date, I tend to become shy and introverted. I don't know why and I've been trying to figure it out.
I think it's because when I am interested in someone, I want to know them better, it's not all about the sex. When it's just a hook up, I know it's just all about the sex. I don't care about just the sex. Wait, that sounds wrong. I mean, I like sex, I'm a gay guy. I just don't need to care about the sex. That's a huge step from where I was about 13 years ago, where the two were far more intertwined. That's the crux of my problem I think. When I approach the situation as just sex/a hookup/casual it's easy, I'm confident. It's sex. I know what I'm doing and how much fun it can and will be. When I want more than just sex, there's more riding on the outcome and I become shy and introverted. (I know, some of you don't know that side of me so you're a bit confused...sorry).
It's harder to say hi to someone I am interested in with the potential for more than sex than it would be if I knew it were just sex. Sex I can get anytime...I want the connection with a person for the relationship to have a chance...even if it's only one date. That's what makes me nervous I guess. I don't know how the other person feels...what they are thinking about the situation, about me. If I know I'm just getting sex...so easy. Now I just need to learn how to say hello outside of that scenario...or I'll never get another date!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Questions without answers...
I know I'm not alone, but sometimes I ask myself questions that have no answers. Questions that don't need to be asked. That aren't healthy to ask. That don't need answers, because whatever the answer isn't going to change the situation. I need to stop asking those questions. I need to stop wondering. It doesn't do me any good - it doesn't lead me to a healthy place. It doesn't help.
As Annie aptly points out, perhaps it's because "somethings are better left unsaid but they still turn me inside out..."
For example - asking why you get invited to some events and not others. Why friends sometimes invite you and sometimes don't. What if I had never moved here, or worked there? Why some people make more money. Why do some friends only tell you things that they want you to hear? How come with some friends it's always on their terms? What you have to do to get ahead. Where life will take you next. Who does this person think they are? Why is this happening. Just a random selection of questions that fit the bill. They all have answers. Do you need to know them? Will the answers make the situation any different? Will the answers make you feel better? Probably not. So why ask them in the first place? They just lead you down a path of never-ending questions that have no solid answers...so why ask them in the first place.
As Annie aptly points out, perhaps it's because "somethings are better left unsaid but they still turn me inside out..."
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Wonder
There are a ton of things that make me pause with wonder. More lately than before it seems, and I'm not sure why. I wonder why if more people are traveling by air, the flights are not as frequent and they cost more. I wonder what gave the planners of Central Park the forethought to know that a giant park in the middles of New York City would provide city dwellers with a sense of purpose and community for so long. I wonder what it would be like to be rich. I wonder what it would be like to live in London. I wonder if I can ever get past my emotional eating habits. I wonder if I'll ever have a flat stomach and muscles. I wonder if I'm on the right path.
I wonder why some people are friends for a lifetime and others only for shorter bursts. I wonder why, regardless of length those friends make a meaningful impact on your life. I wonder why it is that some friends can be closer than family.
I wonder why music and art can make such a lasting impression on the human spirit but sometimes a person cannot. I wonder why we are drawn to different types of music and art and why others are not appealing in the slightest. I wonder why we like some foods and not others. I wonder why our tastes change over time.
Lately, I find myself wondering about excuses. Why do we make them? Why do we need them? Why do we bother? I know that I have made excuses in the past. We all have. I also know there are things in my life that I have done, both good and bad, that I would like to remember or forget and that regardless, I can still play over and over in my head. I am trying not to make excuses for myself anymore. I am responsible for all of my actions. Not my past. Not the voices in my head (call them personalities, spirits, the devil, evil, good - call them whatever you like). Not my friends, for no matter how close a friend or how powerful an influence they have on my life, I made the decisions I made - not them. I am responsible for the actions and decisions I have made in my life and if I want to move past them, I need to not wonder what excuses I can use - but I need to acknowledge and accept them and move on. I don't wonder about that, not anymore.
I wonder why some people are friends for a lifetime and others only for shorter bursts. I wonder why, regardless of length those friends make a meaningful impact on your life. I wonder why it is that some friends can be closer than family.
I wonder why music and art can make such a lasting impression on the human spirit but sometimes a person cannot. I wonder why we are drawn to different types of music and art and why others are not appealing in the slightest. I wonder why we like some foods and not others. I wonder why our tastes change over time.
Lately, I find myself wondering about excuses. Why do we make them? Why do we need them? Why do we bother? I know that I have made excuses in the past. We all have. I also know there are things in my life that I have done, both good and bad, that I would like to remember or forget and that regardless, I can still play over and over in my head. I am trying not to make excuses for myself anymore. I am responsible for all of my actions. Not my past. Not the voices in my head (call them personalities, spirits, the devil, evil, good - call them whatever you like). Not my friends, for no matter how close a friend or how powerful an influence they have on my life, I made the decisions I made - not them. I am responsible for the actions and decisions I have made in my life and if I want to move past them, I need to not wonder what excuses I can use - but I need to acknowledge and accept them and move on. I don't wonder about that, not anymore.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
WDCT - Episode 1
Where does Chistery Travel? I was in London for work recently and picked this stuffed Chistery doll up at Wicked London. I had intentions on giving it to my youngest nephew, Miles.
In fact, I was pretty intent on him getting it. I stowed it in my carry on when I checked my bags on the flight home. Then, I was sitting sipping tea in the Virgin ClubHouse and a thought passed through my brain.
I couldn't stop it - Chistery came out of the carry on and I started snapping pictures. I thought it would be really cool if I started taking Chistery with me on my travels and snapping pictures along the way. A bit like a Flat Stanley - only something my nephews could enjoy following along with.
I don't think they really understand what it is what Uncle Greg does. I know they don't really understand what Wicked or Billy Elliot is - or have even heard the music. I do know they know about Flying Monkeys - the Chistery character in Wicked.
Since Uncle Greg works on Wicked all over the place, and they don't have stuffed Billy Elliot dolls, I thought this was the next best solution. So...without further ado, I give you the first of Chistery's adventures on the road. He thoroughly enjoyed his Upper Class journey from Heathrow to JFK - and there are many more adventures to come.
Special thanks and shout outs to Danny and Louisa in Upper Class on Virgin Atlantic Flight VS9 from LHR to JFK who helped get all the pictures in flight. This is for my nephews, whom I love dearly - I hope they enjoy Chistery's adventures and all the photos along the way. Miles - you might get Chistery, eventually. Miles, Logan and Connor - Uncle Greg loves you.
 |
| the view from the Virgin Atlantic Club House in Heathrow |
In fact, I was pretty intent on him getting it. I stowed it in my carry on when I checked my bags on the flight home. Then, I was sitting sipping tea in the Virgin ClubHouse and a thought passed through my brain.
 | |
| you can't go to the Club House and not sit in one of the iconic bubble chairs |
I couldn't stop it - Chistery came out of the carry on and I started snapping pictures. I thought it would be really cool if I started taking Chistery with me on my travels and snapping pictures along the way. A bit like a Flat Stanley - only something my nephews could enjoy following along with.
 |
| the Upper Class seats are so comfortable |
I don't think they really understand what it is what Uncle Greg does. I know they don't really understand what Wicked or Billy Elliot is - or have even heard the music. I do know they know about Flying Monkeys - the Chistery character in Wicked.
 |
| you can't sit in Upper Class and not have a drink at the bar... |
Since Uncle Greg works on Wicked all over the place, and they don't have stuffed Billy Elliot dolls, I thought this was the next best solution. So...without further ado, I give you the first of Chistery's adventures on the road. He thoroughly enjoyed his Upper Class journey from Heathrow to JFK - and there are many more adventures to come.
 |
| after all that...it's bed time for Chistery |
Special thanks and shout outs to Danny and Louisa in Upper Class on Virgin Atlantic Flight VS9 from LHR to JFK who helped get all the pictures in flight. This is for my nephews, whom I love dearly - I hope they enjoy Chistery's adventures and all the photos along the way. Miles - you might get Chistery, eventually. Miles, Logan and Connor - Uncle Greg loves you.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Strongly worded letter
There's that moment in the film Titanic that Jack says to Rose, reflecting on their current predicament - afloat in the North Atlantic, waiting to be rescued - "I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White Star line."
I use that phrase now all the time now. When I become frustrated with customer service, or lack thereof. When any number of things a company could be doing better are just not being done. I joke around with friends when we don't get great service that we should write a strongly worded letter. There are a ton of scenarios that this has become my go to line for. I've never actually done it, until recently.
I am a loyal Virgin. No, not that kind. I am loyal to the Virgin airline brand. I fly Virgin Atlantic overseas to London. I am a member of their Flying Club. I've gone gold and accumulated status with them. Virgin America doesn't fly everywhere I need them to, but when I am going somewhere they do fly, I do my best to take their flights and earn more miles and points. I am a loyal Virgin.
I have only been Gold since December, but have been a loyal Virgin for a few years. It's how they treat me as a customer. I have never felt anything but valued as a loyal customer. I recently flew to LAX on Virgin America. I checked in and proudly showed my Flying Club Gold card to make sure they have my number on file. That status helped me get an exit row window seat - those are reserved for members with status or for an extra cost. I boarded in group E. How many boarding classes does Virgin America use? A, B, C, D and E. I boarded the plane last - even with my status. I didn't think anything of it, and just boarded the plane. I checked in at LAX and again my status got me an exit row window seat, but I still boarded in Group E. Last. I watched people with no loyalty to the Virgin brand board the plane with more priority than me.
Now, why am I not an Elevate member (Virgin America's flying program), you ask? Well, when I joined Virgin Atlantic's program, they were in the midst of merging all of their programs (Flying Club on VAtlantic, Elevate on VAmerica and Velocity on VAustralia) meaning that I could accumulate miles and points on my Virgin Atlantic Flying Club no matter which airline I flew. I could also then spend those miles on any of the three airlines. You can't accumulate miles on more than one program at a time, and if you could use your miles across the board on all of the airlines, why would I be a member of all 3? I chose to just keep my Flying club membership and rack up my miles and points there.
If your programs are all about encouraging brand loyalty, why would you not reward that? I am not asking for a free First Class upgrade or anything like that. I'm asking for a little priority boarding for being loyal to the Virgin brand and I was disappointed that people that had never flown Virgin (any airline) before were boarding before I was as a loyal customer. Am I wrong?
I've written my strongly worded letter to Virgin America, and have sent a copy to Virgin Atlantic. I don't know what will happen with it, but I do know that I felt better afterward. I still LOVE the Virgin brand, and will continue to use Virgin Atlantic when I fly to London, I'm just disappointed with my lack of recognition for my loyalty to the brand.
I use that phrase now all the time now. When I become frustrated with customer service, or lack thereof. When any number of things a company could be doing better are just not being done. I joke around with friends when we don't get great service that we should write a strongly worded letter. There are a ton of scenarios that this has become my go to line for. I've never actually done it, until recently.
I am a loyal Virgin. No, not that kind. I am loyal to the Virgin airline brand. I fly Virgin Atlantic overseas to London. I am a member of their Flying Club. I've gone gold and accumulated status with them. Virgin America doesn't fly everywhere I need them to, but when I am going somewhere they do fly, I do my best to take their flights and earn more miles and points. I am a loyal Virgin.
I have only been Gold since December, but have been a loyal Virgin for a few years. It's how they treat me as a customer. I have never felt anything but valued as a loyal customer. I recently flew to LAX on Virgin America. I checked in and proudly showed my Flying Club Gold card to make sure they have my number on file. That status helped me get an exit row window seat - those are reserved for members with status or for an extra cost. I boarded in group E. How many boarding classes does Virgin America use? A, B, C, D and E. I boarded the plane last - even with my status. I didn't think anything of it, and just boarded the plane. I checked in at LAX and again my status got me an exit row window seat, but I still boarded in Group E. Last. I watched people with no loyalty to the Virgin brand board the plane with more priority than me.
Now, why am I not an Elevate member (Virgin America's flying program), you ask? Well, when I joined Virgin Atlantic's program, they were in the midst of merging all of their programs (Flying Club on VAtlantic, Elevate on VAmerica and Velocity on VAustralia) meaning that I could accumulate miles and points on my Virgin Atlantic Flying Club no matter which airline I flew. I could also then spend those miles on any of the three airlines. You can't accumulate miles on more than one program at a time, and if you could use your miles across the board on all of the airlines, why would I be a member of all 3? I chose to just keep my Flying club membership and rack up my miles and points there.
If your programs are all about encouraging brand loyalty, why would you not reward that? I am not asking for a free First Class upgrade or anything like that. I'm asking for a little priority boarding for being loyal to the Virgin brand and I was disappointed that people that had never flown Virgin (any airline) before were boarding before I was as a loyal customer. Am I wrong?
I've written my strongly worded letter to Virgin America, and have sent a copy to Virgin Atlantic. I don't know what will happen with it, but I do know that I felt better afterward. I still LOVE the Virgin brand, and will continue to use Virgin Atlantic when I fly to London, I'm just disappointed with my lack of recognition for my loyalty to the brand.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Life in Exile...
I have to preface this - I LOVE my job. I really do. I enjoy what I do, I enjoy that I get to travel all over the place - I love my job. I HATE my new office space. I work in one of the most expensive real estate markets in the country and space is at a premium. I had an amazing office, with a window (that opened) and a view of a rooftop garden.
Since there is so much construction going on and things are moving and changing, a lot of people have been temporarily relocated. My dept is among them. We all lost our offices and our space and have been moved to cubicle city. It's not the cubicle that I mind (granted, there is no privacy, you can hear everything everyone else is doing and people walk by talking at the top of their lungs on the way to their offices), but our location is horrid. We are in an outskirts building now. It feels like exile. It's added 10 minutes onto the commute in the morning. It's part of Rockefeller Plaza, but it's not 30 Rock anymore. There are windows, but they are all partially blocked by cubicle walls (really? who designed that?). The overhead lighting is making my brain and eyes hurt and it's sooooo warm over here. I used to be able to open my window to regulate the temperature a bit, but that option is gone. Despite all of those things, we've all made our new environment work, and it is nice to be with everyone on the team on the East Coast instead of all of us occupying different areas of the building.
I hate that it feels like exile. Most of the company is buildings and plazas away. We are an island unto ourselves over here, and it feels like that. It's kind of like Alcatraz - you know, it's part of the amazing city of San Francisco...but not really at all. That's what it feels like to work over here...alcatraz...exile...or my new cubicle 1002N1.
Since there is so much construction going on and things are moving and changing, a lot of people have been temporarily relocated. My dept is among them. We all lost our offices and our space and have been moved to cubicle city. It's not the cubicle that I mind (granted, there is no privacy, you can hear everything everyone else is doing and people walk by talking at the top of their lungs on the way to their offices), but our location is horrid. We are in an outskirts building now. It feels like exile. It's added 10 minutes onto the commute in the morning. It's part of Rockefeller Plaza, but it's not 30 Rock anymore. There are windows, but they are all partially blocked by cubicle walls (really? who designed that?). The overhead lighting is making my brain and eyes hurt and it's sooooo warm over here. I used to be able to open my window to regulate the temperature a bit, but that option is gone. Despite all of those things, we've all made our new environment work, and it is nice to be with everyone on the team on the East Coast instead of all of us occupying different areas of the building.
I hate that it feels like exile. Most of the company is buildings and plazas away. We are an island unto ourselves over here, and it feels like that. It's kind of like Alcatraz - you know, it's part of the amazing city of San Francisco...but not really at all. That's what it feels like to work over here...alcatraz...exile...or my new cubicle 1002N1.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
What's it gonna take?
Sometimes I wonder...nothing major, nothing official, I just wonder.
What does it take? Things can seem so easy these days we have
smartphones and can access information on the go, we have twitter and
can talk to friends in other countries in real time, we can instant
message, we can blog. We can socially interact in more ways than ever
before. How come then it's so hard to get a date? I am a great catch,
and I know that. Maybe that's what makes me wonder...what does it take. How hard is it to find someone that wants to get to know me and wants to be with me? Have I lost all my chances? I'm not ready to give up, but it's incredibly frustrating. I don't want someone that just wants in my pants...I want someone that wants in my pants AND in my head and heart...what's it gonna take?
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